Chippenham (Chip’ numb) is a dump

Living in Chippenham

Chippenham is a small market town in Wiltshire, 15 miles East of Bath. I was living happily in Bath until my landlord decided to sell the house. My friends came to the rescue – or so I thought. They had bought their 1st house 8 months previously in Chippenham (they couldn’t afford a house in […]

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Chard: The town where the garbage men make deliveries

Living in Chard, Somerset

I might only be a tractor driver but I got a computer in me cab now, so I thought I would tell you about my local town. Chard used to be a right good old place. You could ‘ave a proper night out for a fiver at the rugby club and then get yer end away […]

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Portreath: The adult and teen chapters of the Cornish Mafia

Living in Portreath, North Cornwall

Portreath is riddled with ner’do’wells and, like Illogan (see my previous post) has two distinct forms of Cornish Mafia. The adult and the teen chapters. The adult chapter of the Cornish Mafia are made up of wannabe politicians and local fishermen. These people meet on a regular basis and discuss vitally important issues like whether […]

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Bridgwater: like an open cesspit, the thickest sh*ts tend to accumulate here

Living in Bridgwater, Somerset

Bridgwater is best described as a ‘meeting place’ in that like an open cess-pit, the thickest ***** tend to accumulate here. These are the people that cut themselves shaving and place the plaster on the mirror. Cro-magnon man would have no trouble fitting-in here though his wife would need to get a ‘wide load’ tattoo […]

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Weston-super-Mare, A Seaside ‘holiday town’ hellhole

Living in Weston-super-mare

Seaside ‘holiday town’ hellhole. Favourite hangouts include the seafront, the pier and the abundance of huge amusement arcades (especially the one at the end of the pier). My God! I knew that Weston was a town that had to be seen for its *********, and oh boy, was I scared! This is a place ruled […]

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