It has been said that the distant thud of a solitary Royton woman approaching could loosen one’s fillings from over five miles away. Raised on a diet of piping-hot Greggs steak bakes and deep-fried crunchy coated poultry, your typical Royton lass is a sight to be held. Morbidly obese, tattoo-covered, and with teeth like a […]
I am not going to say that this manky Northern tip is full of ***** as it isn’t. It is full of ******* aspiring to become *****, it is that far down the social spectrum. Where to start is the main problem. Oldham was the richest town in the world at the height of the […]
What can I say about Shaw that has not already been so accurately written by my fellow wordsmiths? Well, here goes! I have lived is Shaw my entire life. I have worked on building sites, fenced stolen and counterfeit goods, dealt cocaine and had numerous affairs with the females of this town. I left my […]
Read More… from Shaw, as annoying as an improperly wiped backside
Sholver, one windswept winter’s night I found myself alone, cold and afraid on the streets of this **** smeared overspill. As the wind howled and the icy rain cut into me like one of the many discarded hypodermic needles scattered here and there, I heard a distant voice calling to me. At first I mistook […]
I spent a great deal of my formative years walking feverishly around the narrow field-bordered streets of Shaw, and found it difficult to describe to friends who would visit just why the place was so awful. To the untrained eye the hamlet seems quaint and even welcoming – this is a false perception. When I […]
I would like to begin by doffing my cap to the outstanding wordsmiths who have inspired me to post a review of the Shaw. On entering Shaw, slotted firmly between the cultural hotbeds of Oldham and Rochdale (Somewhat like a stifled farted trapped between the **** cheeks of a skinny jeans wearing Emo), one is […]
Read More… from Shaw, trapped between Oldham & Rochdale like a fart between bum cheeks
