Looe: Tourists are the only thing going for this town

Living in Looe, Cornwall

Having lived in Looe now for 5 years, and moving back to Cornwall as a one time refugee of the depressing hinterland of West Cornwall, I find my feet planted in Looe, what a place. There is a facebook page called Looe Moaners. It is mainly populated by local xenophobes who complain about tourists, dog […]

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Breaston: stuck in the year 1500, village of *******

Living in Breaston, Derbyshire

The Derbyshire village called Breaston, is still stuck in caveman times. If you’re pro hunting, fox hunting etc, then this might be the place for you. Folk who live here are Neanderthals, can spot them by the way they speak words like “UGG”, scrapping their clubs along the ground or their fists. Highlight of the […]

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Mablethorpe – the land that time forgot

Living in Mablethorpe, Lincolnshire

On recent terrible trip the Lincolnshire town of Mablethorpe I was horrified at the down trodden class of trollops that are attracted to the town. I discovered a large proportion of sink-hole estate vest wearing, roll-up smoking, tattooed unemployable empty heads who were swearing their heads off at every opportunity. Flatulence was the main mode […]

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South Molton, Devon’s graveyard

Living in South Molton, Devon

With the smallest Sainsburys in the UK located in an old shed to the cruddiest dirty market in the SW. The only shops are charity shops and cafés full of gaseous pensioners. Nothing interesting happens in this town. Once or twice a year a few locals dress up as victorian peasants rather than 21st century […]

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Bakewell: the traffic Tokyo of England

Living in Bakewell, Derbyshire

As you drive into Bakewell on a public holiday or weekend, you cross the beautiful Victorian bridge and enter the town centre, by which point you will be losing daylight and will have to turn around and go back through the traffic Tokyo of England, where children are taught from a young age to ignore […]

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Romsey pretends to be a nice place

Living in Romsey, Hampshire

On looking at Romsey you would think it is a nice place, well that’s what it pretends to be. I have lived here for over 25 years and the people are rude and not very friendly. They have a small town mentality, The planning depart needs shooting [in my dreams, but in reality, just a […]

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Waterlooville – Ghost Town

Living in Waterlooville, Hampshire

Waterlooville used to be full of independent shops, everyone happy and a nice community. Now, because of the incredibly high rates down south, all the independents have been forced to **** off and we’re left with a Waitrose, a Sainsbury’s, a Tesco Express, a Lidl, an Asda, a Subway and a McDonalds, not to mention […]

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Dudley: The Epitome of Redneck!

Living in Dudley, West Midlands

Dudley really is the epitome of “Redneck”. With cutbacks hitting hard and outdated social climates, the town is a recipe for total disaster. What once was a booming market town, is now a high street of abandoned shops with an ever growing air of racial tension. The racial divide Dudley is divided into so called […]

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Salisbury – well there’s two types of people

Living in Salisbury, Wiltshire, South West

I have lived in Salisbury my whole life – unfortunately. If you’re looking for somewhere to make your life seem longer, then this is the place for you. The days drag on at such an unbearable rate in this dull boring little ‘city’, I already feel twice my age. You will get some people who […]

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Guildford: What has become of you?

Living in Guildford, Surrey

Guildford, oh Guildford. What has become of you? Once lauded as the glorious beating heart of “leafy Surrey”; a jewel in the crown of the Home Counties, Guildford is now a relatively unpleasant place to live. To start, we have one of the worst local councils in recorded British history. A veritable financial black hole. […]

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Elephant and Castle – Yep, you’ve got off at the wrong stop.

Living in Elephant and Castle, South London

So, you’ve found yourself in Elephant and Castle? My condolences. Well, while you try and find the nearest possible exit, why not stop for a moment to marvel at the many wonders that we have to offer here! You ever heard of Michael Faraday? He was born here, and you better believe we’re gonna let […]

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Sittingbourne, oh the joy

Living in Sittingbourne, Kent

If you are considering moving to Sittingbourne, take my friendly and concise advice, and avoid it like the plague which manifests itself here. The place is a real sh*thole now. Disrespectful cheeky kids that are dragged up by **** parents. I work in the retail park, and the amount of litter that the sh*ttingbourne sh*te […]

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