Rotherham than me…

Living in Rotherham, South Yorkshire

Having lived and worked in many places around England including Middlesbrough, Sunderland, Preston (Depreston!), Leigh, Bootle & Great Yarmouth, all of which have their problems, I have to say that you have no idea just how piss poor a town can be. I was born and bred in Rotherham. I spent the first 25 years […]

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Axminster: The worst town I have ever visited!

Living in Axminster, Devon

I travel around a lot these days, and have visited countless towns and cities across the land. I’ve been to places where I witnessed seagulls eating fresh sick, places where the desolation rivals that seen in war torn Aleppo. Places where you’re lucky to get out alive after 7pm. Yet none of them compares to […]

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Plymouth, it’s only down from here

Living in Plymouth, Devon

I’ve lived in Plymouth for 13 years in January. Being born in one of the most dangerous cities in the UK, you would think you couldn’t get much worse, well you would be wrong. As you enter the city the first thing you see is “WELCOME TO PLYMOUTH, BRITAIN’S OCEAN CITY” Well for a start […]

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York – From Hell to Middle Class Hades

Living in York, North Yorkshire

Been away from York for about 10 years and recently returned. So many changes to report. Something of a cycling city, my previous report bemoaned the number of teenager that would rat run the pedestrianised area, flattening anyone that got in their way. I presume that in the last 10 years these inappropriately attired (in […]

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West Hendon – A greyer shade of grey

Living in West Hendon, North London

Hendon is a mostly ok place. It is one of the few places in London where there is still a butcher, a fishmonger and a greengrocer on the high street. There are also a couple of excellent bakeries that friends from outside the area insist on visiting when ever the pop by. It has a […]

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Peterborough: oh for a nuclear bomb (or a really big bulldozer)

Living in Peterborough, Cambridgeshire, England

Peterborough. Well, what can I say about it? Like many other places in Britain it has very little left now that is culturally significant. St John’s church, the Cathedral and the Bull Hotel. Nothing else. The heart of this small (but nice) little place was ripped out in the 60’s and 70’s in the name […]

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Llandudno: The Brown Town Of Welsh Resorts

Living in Llandudno, Wales

Llandudno was once known as “The Queen of Welsh Resorts!” Now its glory years are far behind it, with it now taking over “The Brown Town” title from Colwyn Bay and Rhyl. From the closed down drug houses on the Orme to Homeless and Drug users living in its caves, it’s a delight! Drugs and […]

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North Devon – Don’t do it!

Living in North Devon, Combe Martin and Ilfracombe

If you were thinking of moving to your over-priced dream North Devon property for a new life, then read on. Unfortunately everybody else had the same idea. Chopsy Brummies, cockneys, scousers, incompetent caterers, useless Pub landlords, and robbing shysters, have settled their fat arses down here already. Sorry about that. Devon isn’t paradise, it’s Sheffield […]

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Mill End: inches from the cancerous smog of junction 17 on the M25

Living in Mill End, Rickmansworth, Hertfordshire

Emerging just centimetres from the cancerous smog of junction 17 on the M25, sits an old council estate going by the mind-bendingly imaginative name of Mill End. It nestles, like an infected yellow head, on the boarder of South West Herts and South Bucks, and breeds toothless simpletons, social disease and gonorrhoea like a scene […]

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East Kilbride – slice of hell cut off from civilisation

Living in East Kilbride, Scotland

This is posted as someone who moved to East Kilbride 2.5 years ago temporarily and will soon be leaving, by the grace of all that is holy. As a ‘new town’ in the 60’s and 70’s East Kilbride originally attracted lots of industry workers and their families. However due to the mammoth distance of 10 […]

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Kazakhstan to Crewe – no thank you!

Living in Crewe, Cheshire

I was born in Crewe but was lucky enough to have relatively enterprising and hard-working parents. They felt it would be better to move out of town and bring me up in a semi-affluent village not too far away. Enough, I cannot thank them! Graduating from university in another God-forsaken northern pit called Lancaster (which […]

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North Shields – Shield yourself at all costs

Living in North Shields, Tyne and Wear

Ah, North Shields. Truly a bastion of the North. A magnificent representation of our wonderful cultural values – alcoholism, drugs and screaming at your children like it’s an episode of Jeremy Kyle outside of the Metro station, while your husband is off purveying the cheap lager at the local offy. Residents despise their life In […]

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