Darlington: Town of Brass Bands and Despair

Living in Darlington, County Durham

Darlington. Beautiful Darlington. Traditional market town that is the embodiment of North Eastern values. When I was growing up there, expectant mothers did not get the usual NHS offering of a ‘baby starter pack of nappies, wet wipes and a helpful booklet’. No; babies of Darlington Memorial Hospital were prepared for life as a future […]

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Billericay the bullsh*t town of Essex

Living in Billericay, Essex

Billericay is one of the slightly lesser known towns of Essex and those who don’t know it, think it’s a posh place. Only the houses in Norsey road are posh, otherwise it’s a sh*thole full of *****. South Green is probably the worst part of Billericay especially the shopping area where drug dealers and druggies […]

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Ilfracombe: gluten intolerant middle class nightmare

Living in Ilfracombe, Devon

It’s about time we stopped knocking the working class and poor *****. The biggest problem I believe Ilfracombe has, is its whole generation of 16-24 year olds raised by middle class parents. They fill Ilfracombe’s restaurants and cafés, announcing every self diagnosed intolerance. Gluten intolerance or lactose, if it’s trendy to have… They have it. […]

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Tynemouth – Pearly White False Teeth Mouth of the Tyne

Living in Tynemouth, Tyne and Wear

If you manage to get through North Shields alive, or bear the brunt of the perpetual traffic jam of the A1058 ‘coast road’, you might make it to Tynemouth, but it’s probably not worth risking either route unless you; Surf badly Are over the age of 50 Like rubbish castles Tynemouth is full of rubbish […]

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Whitchurch (Wem): The abyss of Shropshire

Living in Whitchurch, Shropshire

I have sadly lived in the Whitchurch and Wem area all of my life (31 years) and have to say, it is one of the most awful places in the entire universe! Frequented by a mix of country yocals who look like they take a bath once a year, ***** (originally from overspill towns in […]

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Wolverhampton: the hidden wonders of trash

Living in Wolverhamton, West Midlands

No wonder why this place was in the worst places in the world in 2009 because It’s true. I live between Wolverhampton and Walsall unfortunately which are full of countless dodgy looking people. I have been to Wolverhampton city centre loads of times and it’s is common to see trash flying around everywhere and women […]

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Rugby: Warehouse jobs and drugs a plenty

Living in Rugby, Warwickshire

So where to begin …when you’d rather not? What’s not to like about Drugby? Sandwiched between the post war mess that’s Coventry and Hell hole of Northampton. It’s an area sliding into decay. It’s unfair to point out the town centre which is held together by Charity shops and failing independent retailers as that is […]

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Northolt: The place that decency and cleanliness forgot

Living in Northolt, West London

When we first moved on to the Racecourse Estate in Northolt it was a sunny day but we were greeted by 2 women threatening each other, not the welcome to your new flat we hoped for but it was only going to get worse. To the naked eye you could mistake some parts of this […]

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Llangefni – bad lads and badder gals

Living in Llangefni, Wales

Llangefni is just fine if you were born there and are hard core Welsh (or not Welsh but hard as nails) and like rain, cars, drugs and heavy drinking. If you think the blokes are scary, then watch out for the women. Oh Jesus Christ how do they ever get like that? Big prop forward […]

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Great Yarmouth – A museum of bleakness and decay

Living in Great Yarmouth, Norfolk

I visited Great Yarmouth several times recently and hope never to have to return. Where the bleak, brown, hostile sea stops, bleak, hostile depressing streets start, with grim “amusement” arcades on the dilapidated front where it is impossible to imagine deriving any joy or amusement. The star attraction The star attraction it seems is a […]

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So you fancy a trip to Paignton?

Living in Paignton, Devon

So, fancy a visit to Paignton eh? Firstly, if young free and single, ensure your vaccinations are up to date and you can be sure to take a few crabs home with you and not from the fishmongers. A book on local dialect would be useful, not Devonian, but scouse, brummie or Eastern European would […]

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Llandudno Junction’s illiteracy concert

Living in Llandudno Junction, Wales

Over the past few years Llandudno Junction has had an influx of people who sadly cannot read or perform basic mental tasks. This had made the Town (with the amenities of a village) a front runner for the nations lowest IQ. This has worried many people not just in the UK but across the world. […]

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