Mossley, home of the ‘Who’s got the most toes competition’

Living in Mossley, Greater Manchester

Whether you’re from top or bottom Mossley, there was always an issue of who is the most superior life form. With ***** who don’t have the complications of the inner city chavery to cloud their empty minds, their justification for territory extends to ********** characteristics such as who’s dad has six toes or who’s Uncle […]

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Reddish: The Ghetto of Greater Manchester

Living in Reddish, Stockport, Greater Manchester

Welcome to Reddish, an outlying slum of the town of Stockport and the home to many ***** and council house clutter. There, you can get up to many activities, such as getting robbed by a group of *****. They will often retreat to their area of congregation, Houldsworth Square, to sell your stolen items, or […]

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Swinton is a sewer, moved here from Macclesfield, big mistake!

Living in Swinton, Greater Manchester

Just wanted to post about a town I lived in 2 years ago, Swinton. I moved here from Macclesfield as I already hated Macc and wanted to move closer to friend. Big mistake! The first day I was walking through the precinct I was attacked by an old man (Looked homeless) and said he’d leave […]

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Shaw, as annoying as an improperly wiped backside

Living in Shaw, Oldham

What can I say about Shaw that has not already been so accurately written by my fellow wordsmiths? Well, here goes! I have lived is Shaw my entire life. I have worked on building sites, fenced stolen and counterfeit goods, dealt cocaine and had numerous affairs with the females of this town. I left my […]

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Withington, Manchester – The area that we all just gave up on

Living in Withington, Manchester

I’ve lived in Withington my whole life and wouldn’t wish living here on my worst enemy. Crackheads, winos, *****, the lot. It’s a place where your neighbour has slept with everyone that you know, where 13 year olds chat up middle aged women. It’s a place where you can’t get a pasty in peace. During […]

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Harpurhey – You don’t have to smoke spice to live here, but it helps

Living in Harpurhey, Manchester

When me mam told me we were moving to Harpurhey in 2002, I was devastated. When she showed me the estate we were going to move on to I tried to throw myself under the 52 bus. Unfortunately it never turned up on time, I don’t think it ever has since. Here lies the problems […]

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Bolton… beyond the term “dreadful”

Living in Bolton, Greater Manchester

I luckily don’t live hereabout, but have been coming to see someone weekly over the last four years in this place called Bolton. I consider myself quite well travelled both in this country and abroad. I have witnessed some appalling places and sights in my 58 years, but with hand on heart, I have to […]

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Shaw: The Place That Joy Forgot

Living in Shaw, Greater Manchester

I spent a great deal of my formative years walking feverishly around the narrow field-bordered streets of Shaw, and found it difficult to describe to friends who would visit just why the place was so awful. To the untrained eye the hamlet seems quaint and even welcoming – this is a false perception. When I […]

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Stretford is a Mecca for ***** and scallies

Living in Stretford, Manchester

Stretford is a place that is a Mecca for ***** and scallies. They’re dressed in the typical scally uniform of trainers, trackies and a snap back hat. they’re pockets are filled with the latest skunk weed that smells like cow piss and cat piss mixed in with giraffe piss. They’re usually walking around with this […]

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Droylsden – Another Fine Mess

Living in Droylsden

Come traveller, take my hand as I drag you along through the dismal suburban winnit that is Droylsden. Situated just four grime-strewn miles East from the sprawling metropolis that is Manchester, Droylsden hosts a wide variety of sights and experiences that make it a fine place to leave. Let us begin with the very heart […]

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Prestwich – Where the streets are paved with dog *****

Living in Prestwich

Prestwich is a suburb around 4 miles North of central Manchester, and until 1974 was a unitary authority until being inexplicably absorbed into Bury with the formation of Greater Manchester. It has been going downhill ever since. Prestwich is filthy, the pavements are covered in dog ***** and litter. It is so bad that at […]

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