Ashford, I grew up here and I am mentally scarred

Living in Ashford, Kent

A town in South East England where the bling people wear is actually Argos, allegedly 4ct yellow-coated lead and the hoop earrings are so big that people’s ears look like those of the Yanomami Indians who stretch them for traditional purposes. I grew up here and am mentally scarred for life by the sheer amount […]

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Chartham (Pronounced Char’am)

Well, reading through, i’ve noticed that both Canterbury & Ashford have both well afforded a mention. However, somewhere in the middle just off the main A28 is the “**** stop off” called Chartham, (Known by the locals as Char’am, with a kind of uhh in the middle). I grew up in The Hyde. First few […]

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How to fit in around Ashford or Stanwell

Living in Ashford, Middlesex

If your a girl in Ashford or Stanwell, first you must have extremely large love handles ******* over the top of your market jeans. Your extremely tight t-shirt should show every roll of fat whilst clearly showing every stretch mark. This t-shirt should proudly display the words I AM A TEAMPLAYER. Then on the back […]

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