DerbyshireEast Midlands

Hi I moved to Chavlincote 2 years ago from Brussels (equally poor non-descript place but so boring the ***** couldnt even be bothered to max their cars!) Used to live in Stretton before that. OK but too many posh ***** with real Burberry clothes Mummy and Daddy had bought them at the Selfridges Christmas sale.

Swadlincote is an ex-mining town so plenty of dole dossing ***** with nothing better to do than hang around the school opposite me with their 14 year old ********* drinking strongbow and concorde from the local offy during in school hours. The money obviously coming from Mum and Dad who gave it to them for their 200 Lambert and Butler which they will never see.

Unfortunately for me there is a regular fair near my house on the green that attracts ALL the local ***** and ********* for some serious ****** behaviour just off York Road if you live here you’ll know what I mean!

How grim is your Postcode?

A typical evening consists of a ********* push chair being left abandoned on the local church fence. Heaven forbid where the baby is. Its just disturbing. According to your article most ***** like R and B ect… Unfortunatley Swadlinchavs do not even possess the IQ to understand the lyrical content of such dross, so they have to listen to Happyhardcore. My god what an absolute abomination of dance music.

This ‘Music’ emanates from their equally poor car soundsystems turned up so loud that your windows are in danger of shattering when one of the many maxed out C reg Vauxhall Novas rumbles past at 10 MPH.

Swadlinchav is the ***** paradise may I recommend any ***** reading this (if they can) to check out the many enticing watering holes in my idylic village (well it would be if ***** f**ked off). The Barley Mow, Sir Nigel Gresley, the Bear and Angel to name a few **** faves. For an outdoor gathering may I suggest the local park where you can pick up free used needles.

For a more full on party ***** can go to the under 18 disco night at the local community centre where 14 year ********* can wait for a **** to sneak in a beer or two or take them for a ‘Ride’ in their maxpower mobile. Enough you get the picture.

Top 50 worst places to live in England 2021
Top 50 worst places to live in England 2021