Where can I start. I have had the mis-fourtune of living round sutton my entire life and would love to be able to tell you some uplifting information about the people but I cant. More commonly known as Slutton (3 guesses why?) it is surrounded by some of the chaviest areas known tho man i.e. Croydon, Wallington and Morden all of which you can find deligthfull articles about on this site. Sutton has had it’s fair share of fame once host of the infamous Sutton Cruise (where jumped up rude boys go steaming up the high street in their suped up novas in the hope of impressing one of sluttons finest ********* enough to suck them off in matalan carpark) which actually appeared in max power innit before gettin shut down by the old bill.
Sutton is a mecca for our beloved **** with **** shops such as Wilkinson, Game, Newlook, Morgan, buzz, blue inc., H Samuel, Cash a cheque, Asda, Poundland, Matalan, Savers chemist, Argos, Index, Jd Sports, JJB’s to name but a few all their retail needs are catered for. Now for our sofisticated **** (those that actually own shoes) sutton has a wide variety of night life to cater all needs. LittenTree – for the 15 year old ***** ******** wishing to spend her last weeks before the baby comes avin a laff with her mates innit/ tryin to find some bloke stupid enuff to believe her age in the hope of gettin pregnant so she can liv off the caanciwl.
Liquid – “Suttons newest and only £1 million night club” open 6 months 1 stabbing, conutless fights and bottling incidents and 2 incidents in which a “gas” has been let off in the crowd to name but a few, Usually frequented buy the pink shirted, highlighted spiked hair, jeans, suit jacket and white shoes stylee **** and the bog standard slutton ******** (4 smirnoff ices and they’ll gladly bend over to the front and touch their toes (in matalan car park on the way home) if you get my drift).
Chicargo’s- This is where the term Slutton Mutton comes in to its own. Whilst your 18 yr old ******** is in liquid chewing the face off and opening her legs to some random **** in a pink shirt her muva is more than likely wearing her clothes in chicargos chewing the face off and opening her legs to some random 40 yr old skinhead **** in a chelsea shirt.
So basically the moral of the story is if you’ve got a thing for *********, have fantasys about shagging a ********/slutton mutton in matalan car park while she sucks your mate off, really can’t be assed to make much effort in pulling said ******** or her mum sluttons the town for you.