Sutton coldfield chavs usually roam around the streets untill around 2/3 in the morning, after buying their stash of spliffs, cocaine, and other unexciting things. The little chavs usually get their mate of a mates mate to buy them their fags, or you find them half your size walking upto you randomly on the streets asking you for one.. Of course getting laughed straight in the face by everyone after they’ve asked.
After school in sutton coldfield, its like a bunch of hooligans.. Well thats what they are right?!?! You usually glance out of your window to see the pleasent site of people pushing others into the gardens of local residents, sparking up their cheap fags they bought from some desperate chav in need of money at school….. and if you lucky your get to see a pair of dumb chavs walking the opposite way to everyone else, and going back upto school in their mckenzie hoodies (with the hoods up of course) and the trackies that are too small for them – so they disguise it by tucking their trousers into their socks… and the latest pair of Nike Shox. Of course.. They’re too good to walk on the pavement so they decide to walk infront of cars in the middle of the streets.
Im quite surprised they do that though, as you get other chavs speeding up and down the roads in their crappy rusted up cars with their ‘tunez’ pumpin, drawing everyones attention to look at the pile of crap they’re driving. Often you see the big fat chavs walking home, as their mates have ditched them as they like to fit as many people in their car as possible. Half of them just sit in their cars with the windows and doors wide open on the side of the road, drinking their cheap cider trying to rev up what they call an engine. The wooden spoilers on their vauxhall nova’s give a great effect….. NO YOUR CARS CRAP!
Theres always the one with the really loud laugh, and just has to let the local residents know that ‘he’s the man’… Hmm i think not! The teachers usually are too scared to come out of the school untill around 5 O’clock. But you get the odd risk taker, in which one teachers husband got a friendly battering by a group of nice caring local chavs… (True Story)
Theres always girls to a group of chavs. Usually 3 girls. One blonde who wouldnt know the difference if an asteroid just smashed infront of her face. The brunette who just smiles and plays along as if they know what everyone is going on about, and of course… The big fat shaz who just sits down eating doughnuts complaining that she doesn’t want to walk any more, when the rest of them are offered a lift on the back of one of the lads 50 CC moped that travels at the same speed as a wheelchair.
You could always move to the local astro turf on wyndley leisure centre where you’ll find some innocent kids playing football… Well untill a bunch of drugged up chavs come and spoil the fun that is. Yes, the nice friendly chavs come and steal their ball… Then their phones…. then their wallets… and why not give them a punch in the face and knock their teeth out while your at it? After that they move onto the local cinema and try and sneak in again.. Their cheap cider so one of the dumb blondes can be taken advantage off inside the cinemas.
This one time…. (not at band camp) i was sitting in the cinemas enjoying a nice film, when we was so politely interupted to a big fat shaz standing on her seat shouting “Come on then you ****** slag” to another group of girls. It went on and on untill everyone told them to shutup, and a woman with brain cells told a member of staff and got them chucked out.
Another fun incident ive seen in the cinemas, was when this young chav shouted at an older chav something about his dad who no longer lived with him. There was no hanging around… I turned by eyeballs around for just 0.5th of a second to look back round to see this one kid punching the living daylights out of the other…. So if your going to the cinemas in sutton coldfield….
a) Wear a hooded jacket unless you want to get bombarded with popcorn and minstrels.
b) Rent out a romantic movie from the local blockbusters (Just down the road) and dont even go to the cinemas.
There are many other nice fun activities such as swimming. Chavs love swimming… I mean they can bomb others… Attempt to show off their so called ‘diving skills’ infront of their friends in which case they usually end up belly flopping and looking like a complete fool. Also theres always the ‘battle of the floats’, in which chavs like to steal floats off other children. First they ask nicely, and if they dont get it.. they decide to tip kids who cant swim upside down on the float and attempt to drown them. Just picture it… a bunch of chavs swimming off on this float, where as some little children coughing their guts up whilst using all their energy to tread water in the deep end. How kind and thoughtful of the chavs! The lifeguards usually are slightly older chavs who just sit there watching everyone swimming and having fun, whilst them sitting their gormlessly thinking ‘Why arent i having fun’.
The most ridiculous thing i’ve ever seen a chav wearing was a lime green shirt with a furr coat on and all the usual bling. I’ve also seen burberry nike shox. Okay burberry and shox on there own are bad enough… Now what idiot decided to make them mixed together? Its ridiculous… They look dispicible… They would look so much better just pouring a pot of paint over their thick skulls.
If theres an old lady who drops her bags… Most sane people would be kind and help her! Chavs… Help… Haha as if… They just stand.. point.. laugh.. and walk off. How helpful!?!?!?!
Leave your comments on this article, and if they’re thumbs up – I’ll be sure to write another!!
Chav Joke #1 –
Q – What do you call a chav in a box?
A – INNIT!
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