Sutton Coldfield -rich **** heaven

Visitors to Sutton Coldfield can marvel at the appalling Wyndley Leisure Centre, the nasty Gracechurch Shopping Centre and the profusion of wine bars at Mere Green

There is far more to Sutton Coldfield than meets the eye. Once a geteel town, it became part of Birmingham in the 1970s (fair enough -anybody with a good job in Birmingham lived there so why shouldn’t Birmingham get the rates?). The problem with Sutton is that it has grown, and as it has grown, it has imported a special breed of **** -the **** with money. I know this seems a contradiction, but somehow there are a lot about who have got hold of the cash. Unfortunately lots of cash doesn’t mean you acquire taste. It just means you but more expensive **** ****. You were real designer labels and not knock-offs. **** Sutton women (there must be a suitable collective noun) seem to be totally devoid of any intelligence -what do they do if they haven’t got a child in tow? They have nothing to think about and are totally incapble of any thought whatsoever. Sutton has a very high concentration of pink Suzuki Vitara convertibles with wide wheels and white hoods and upholstery -do I have to say more? Sutton **** mothers have enormous 4x4s which they can’t park

Sutton **** lads have progressed from the Corsa/Saxo to Golfs, Focuses and 3-series. It is amazing how you can wreck even a good car. If you want to see them just go to Sutton Park on a Summer’s evening and be impressed by their musical taste through their extra loud car stereos.

How grim is your Postcode?