Strasbourg (France!)

This is surely the first foreign town to appear on chavtowns, and although there are subtle differences in the french and english *****, I am sure that you will accept these buffoons in to the **** fold…

Strasbourg, heart of the European **** community. It is from here that new **** resolutions are drawn up including the 2002 proposition to increase the standard angle that a cap should be worn at.

Strasbourg is a beautiful city. Sadly the morons that populate it do not do it justice. Minimal burberry here but don’t think that you are safe! No, tracksuits neatly tucked in to white socks and pristine new white trainers are the order of the day here… Golf caps are also most popular here. They set off the ****’s horrid brown teeth off perfectly, you may even call it art. Although I wouldn’t…
For the ********, much the same as above. However, hoopy ear-rings, and unbelievably boxing boots. Yes, boxing boots.

How grim is your Postcode?

Locations for ******* out. The park at Montagne Verte is best avoided during the days. At night it is also worth avoiding. I have been harassed here by these **** sitting on benches for my sunglasses. Burnt up cars litter the park, sometimes not torched but smashed up with phallic designs on them. How amusing…

Obviously McDonald’s too, where they will approach you asking to buy them a coffee and asking whether they can sleep at your house. Seriously. When you say know, they flash a grin at you, beckon their 20 friends over, and you know it’s time to run as fast as your legs will carry you.

Homme de Fer tram stop. Total **** mecca! There are so many ***** here spitting on the ground or kicking trams as they pass that you may lose the will to live. The problem is exacerbated by the ‘Roma’, travellers who harass you for money for food and drink. Offer them food or drink though and they look at you in the way that Lisa Riley would look at you if you offered her a salad. In a totally unrelated point, they are often seen drinking alcohol. But, back to the *****…

Demeanour… The male will try and seduce a female with, shall we say euphemistically ‘original’ techniques. ***** that cannot afford a car (the dole system is not so generous in France) will travel by tram. Without paying naturally… This impresses the ********. Grunting (seriously) and making strange whirring noises are also commonplace.

Incidents I have seen during my 4 months there, include a glass bottle narrowly missing me, having been laucnched from a council estate. A strawberry milkshake thrown at me, a **** asking to ‘look at my wallet’, then ‘can I see your mobile phone’ then being chased across the city by him and his 10 friends. I went in to a museum of sealife to escape them. They wouldn’t know what a museum was if it hit them in the face. And I wish a museum would hit them in the face, the scumholes.

Top 50 worst places to live in England 2021
Top 50 worst places to live in England 2021