I wrote an article about my home town of knaresborough and now i am writing about it’s hideously chav’d up neighbour STARBECK.
Starbeck is situated between Knaresborough and Harrogate so you expect it to be nice right? WRONG! Starbeck is the chav infested midriff of these two towns.
Local hangouts in starbeck include Jacksons (cheap cider, fagz, more cider) Dont be cought alone outside here after 9pm or the local chav gang “The Starbeckians” (no s**t, thats their name) will have ur wallet, phone and possibly clothes if ur unlucky (chav kids cost a lot these days).
KFC – Every chavs’ favourite, cidered up chavs/chavettes will venture here from Jacksons to buy their 99p mini fillets, on giro day its a family bucket.
Stabeck Park – frequented by any 15 year old slapper without a baby yet and the 19-21 year old chavs who want to give them 1 (NO PUN). Avoid this hole at all costs after dark, interupting an underage pregnancy attempt could cost you your life.
Clothes – As per usual sports wear is a must for any chav/chavette, brands in Starbeck include the mandatory fake burbery baseball cap and bright white rebok classics, tracksuits by La Coque Sportif and dia-dora as well as a helly-hanson winter warmer (great for hidind stolen cider in). Tracksuit trousers are worn in ‘s**t-stopper’ style, this means that the bottoms are tucked into white socks thus stopping any stolen goods falling out as the chav makes a dash.
Cars – Were would the Starbeck chav be without his Vauxhall Nova? Probably hanging with the rest of the under 17s at Jacksons. This car is like your very own part of the crown jewels (as far as being a chav goes any way). Only the wealthier chavs of starbeck can afford a nice rusty skip with a bean-can exhaust, this is made possible by numerous false disability claims (unless being pond-life is a disability). chav mums like their novas in starbeck and having so many kids brings home the tax-payers bacon en-mass, the more malnourished the child the higher the chance of rickets and therefore a higher benifit payment $$$. Wow, these kids have it good dont they?
Thank the good lord that Harrogate and Knaresborough property prices are High! Buy a house in Knaresborouh now and keep the chavs locked in Starbeck!!