I wrote an article about my home town of knaresborough and now i am writing about it’s hideously ****’d up neighbour STARBECK.
Starbeck is situated between Knaresborough and Harrogate so you expect it to be nice right? WRONG! Starbeck is the **** ******** midriff of these two towns.
Local hangouts in starbeck include Jacksons (cheap cider, fagz, more cider) Dont be cought alone outside here after 9pm or the local **** gang “The Starbeckians” (no ****, thats their name) will have ur wallet, phone and possibly clothes if ur unlucky (**** kids cost a lot these days).
KFC – Every *****’ favourite, cidered up *****/********* will venture here from Jacksons to buy their 99p mini fillets, on giro day its a family bucket.
Stabeck Park – frequented by any 15 year old ******* without a baby yet and the 19-21 year old ***** who want to give them 1 (NO PUN). Avoid this hole at all costs after dark, interupting an underage pregnancy attempt could cost you your life.
Clothes – As per usual sports wear is a must for any ****/********, brands in Starbeck include the mandatory fake burbery baseball cap and bright white rebok classics, tracksuits by La Coque Sportif and dia-dora as well as a helly-hanson winter warmer (great for hidind stolen cider in). Tracksuit trousers are worn in ‘****-stopper’ style, this means that the bottoms are tucked into white socks thus stopping any stolen goods falling out as the **** makes a dash.
Cars – Were would the Starbeck **** be without his Vauxhall Nova? Probably ******* with the rest of the under 17s at Jacksons. This car is like your very own part of the crown jewels (as far as being a **** goes any way). Only the wealthier ***** of starbeck can afford a nice rusty skip with a bean-can exhaust, this is made possible by numerous false disability claims (unless being pond-life is a disability). **** mums like their novas in starbeck and having so many kids brings home the tax-payers bacon en-mass, the more malnourished the child the higher the chance of rickets and therefore a higher benifit payment $$$. Wow, these kids have it good dont they?
Thank the good lord that Harrogate and Knaresborough property prices are High! Buy a house in Knaresborouh now and keep the ***** locked in Starbeck!!
