Stafford truly is the new Crewe – plus some. Perhaps due to its close rail proximity and the lack of fare checking en-route, the Chavtastic culture has taken Stafford by storm. Swelled by ranks of illegal immigrants and ‘bag head’ H addicts from across the country, stepping down in Stafford is like entering a parallel universe.
It’s always been a ****** old hole full of local authority housing and sportswear wearing ‘mooks’, but in recent years there has been an explosion in **** head culture. Cruise Stafford’s very own promenade on a weekend from The Grapes and Zanzibar to the all night Supermarket right next door to the homeless shelter past the ‘keeybab shop’ and you’ll see an array of pointless ***** representing every single sub-genre from neanderthal rough ****, with holed shell suit and filthy trainers to smart Burberry Boy.
Be sure to check out the local ‘talent’ – hefty hunnies with that famous “Stafford ***” and emaciated scrawny underfed teens, with too much make up applied by their pissed mates hurriedly before stumbling out on the street.
Be sure to place STAFFORD on your **** safari route. You can make a day of it and visit the rural **** reserves of Uttoxeter and Cheadle or visit Alton Towers to witness the greatest migratory **** gathering in the world.
Keep it real. Keep it ****. Keep it Staffordstyley….waaayyyyy mate
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