Stafford truly is the new Crewe – plus some. Perhaps due to its close rail proximity and the lack of fare checking en-route, the Chavtastic culture has taken Stafford by storm. Swelled by ranks of illegal immigrants and ‘bag head’ H addicts from across the country, stepping down in Stafford is like entering a parallel universe.
It’s always been a scummy old hole full of local authority housing and sportswear wearing ‘mooks’, but in recent years there has been an explosion in knob head culture. Cruise Stafford’s very own promenade on a weekend from The Grapes and Zanzibar to the all night Supermarket right next door to the homeless shelter past the ‘keeybab shop’ and you’ll see an array of pointless c***s representing every single sub-genre from neanderthal rough c**v, with holed shell suit and filthy trainers to smart Burberry Boy.
Be sure to check out the local ‘talent’ – hefty hunnies with that famous “Stafford A*s” and emaciated scrawny underfed teens, with too much make up applied by their pissed mates hurriedly before stumbling out on the street.
Be sure to place STAFFORD on your C**v safari route. You can make a day of it and visit the rural c**v reserves of Uttoxeter and Cheadle or visit Alton Towers to witness the greatest migratory c**v gathering in the world.
Keep it real. Keep it C**v. Keep it Staffordstyley….waaayyyyy mate