Spondon has long been the fortress of Derby to the **** mongrols, but is slowly being taken over by the **** scurge. Spondon is an odd place, as half of the suburb is a stinking **** hole of a council estate – with such delights as plastic garden ornaments on roofs (perferably from argos) and an accumulated IQ of 0.5. However, the other half is generally a nice place apart from certain hotspots of **** activity.

One of these places is Brunswood park – a favourate for the **** filth to drink what can only be described as alcohol flavoured lemonade in a suspicious light green bottle. The pathetic park equipment is broken at least twice a day and the kerbs of the surrounding streets are heavily occupied by ***** (please note to watch your step in these areas as various bodily liquids can be found underfoot). This is made worse by the local corner shop (predictably owned by indians who would snap your hand off for half a piece of dung), which acts as the focal point for ***** – one of the best sitting areas being the bin outside very much like flies around ****. When walking past this shop, be prepared to be stared at by some inferior chavlings who look in every direction but eachother.

The policing in the area is also very ****-supporting – having a good laugh with the pits of society while ignoring their various crimes in the process.

How grim is your Postcode?

I highly recommend the precint (a line of dilapidated shops) if your looking for a quick shag behind the post office (the earlier your preggers the better!).

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