There is a car park opposite Mcdonalds (surprise surprise) where a bunch of chavs has been meeting for several nights now. The first I drove past, a row of chavmobiles, complete with spoilers and neon lights were parked in a line, and they were all standing, eating their fast food and discussing trisha or whatever. Nothing much happened, but when I returned the next morning the entire car park was completely trashed, litter everywhere for some poor bugger to clean up. Anyway, I returned later that night, and in a different section of the car park, (I think the place is called harbour parade, there’s a series of car parks in front of a line of stores, including jjb further down) a bunch of scallies were driving round aimlessly in a circuit, as I drove passed, one of them stopped, got out, and just stared at me, and didn’t stop until I left, trying it’s hardest to intimidate me.
Well, not too exciting so far. Tuesday evening, the following week, I go back to the car park, ready to provoke them. Yeah well, it is fun, and they do deserve it. This time, a couple of cars a parked in the middle of the car park opposite mcdonald’s. There is a large gathering of chavs and chavettes in the centre. I enter the car park and, since there’s no-one else around, I am immediately stared at. I open all the windows, and start to blare out at full volume my favourite anti-chav song ‘in me burberry’ (available to download at www.cecimoz.co.uk). I slow down and circle them twice. They stare back, I don’t think they really know what’s going on. Before I exit however, I put my head out the window, make two moronic ‘chavvy noises’ and then shout ‘its a fuckin’ chav innit , ya muvva’. I can hear behind me the pathetic voices of the chavvettes shouting ‘w****r, w****r’. However, two scallies have now got into their chav mobile and decide to chase after me. I have a head start, but Southampton has the most traffic lights per unit area of all uk cities, and so am caught up easily. They start doing stupid manoevre’s pulling up beside me, with the little scally in the passenger seat making hand gestures. Every time we stop at some lights, the bigger driver keeps taking hi seatbelt off and staring into my mirrors trying to look hard. He wants to intimidate me, make me think he’s coming out to have a word or beat me up. The fact that he doesn’t actually leave the car renders it an empty threat, because we all no that chavs are really pathetic creatures that try to appear mean/hard etc but actually aren’t. They contiune to follow me, until they accidently get into the left-hand lane of the road which turns left. They attempt a dangerous undertake to pull infront, and then try to slot in behind, but the rubbish driving is too easy to deal with. I successfully block them off, and manage to escape.