Smith’s Wood aka Weezy Town

Living in Smith's Wood, Birmingham

Possibly the worse area in the world. Here is my story.

I met a guy at a bar in Birmingham city centre, we exchanged numbers and chatted for weeks via text & on the phone, we met up after about 3 months and we went to various bars/restraunts/cinemas ect. I seemed to really get on with him so when he asked me if i would go to his house as his mom would really like to meet me I was more than willing. The drive there was awful, as we had to drive through such places as Chelmsley wood, Kingshurst, Shard End, but nothing could prepare me for what I was about to witness.

As we arrived in Smiths Wood I was mortified,there was nothing but 3 story houses ‘town houses’ (for all the ********* and their 8 unfortunate children) and high rise flats (for the beginner ********* with only 3 children) as far as the eye could see. When we pulled up ‘outside’ his ‘old ladys’ house I was surprised to find out that in fact we weren’t outside, we had to walk through 3 alleyways to get to the actual house, situated in an alleyway itself was his mothers shabby, yellow netted, single glazed swamp, Oh i mean house.

How grim is your Postcode?

As we walked through the doorway I was instantly hit with the smell of cat pee, wet dogs and chip fat. His mum was sitting at the kitchen table with her 3 other elderly friends, all with reebok tracksuits, 4 rings on each finger , 7 ‘gold’ chains with dolls ******* off them , hair scraped on top of the head in a ‘scrunchie’ smoking Sterling Superkings, drinking GLENS VODKA  and swearing like it was going out of fashion at half 3 on a Wednesday afternoon. His sister then walked down the stairs to greet me “yo b, you kool? your d one dats checking my bro yeh? ‘  she looked and acted just like his mother but a younger version with bleached blonde hair and black roots 5inchs long. She then introduced me to her 9 month old son ‘takiary’, yes his sister was only 15. His mum asked us to go to the ‘**** shop’ and get her some more lemonade for the vodka. I offered to drive but the lad said it was only a couple of minutes away. After walking through what can only be describe as ‘alleyway hell’ for 10 minutes, I arrived at ‘Aaron way’ a row of shops that I wouldn’t buy my dogs food from never mind my own.

******* outside Select & Save were his ‘BREDGRINS’, he introduced me to them, one of them said ‘wargwarn posh girl.i kno say u ent from the weez’ i replied ‘the weez?’ they all found this very amusing, the lad I was with suggested we ‘crank off for a bit wif his boys’ considering they were all 19-23, I didn’t quite understand why he referred to them as his boys, but anyway, we stood outside of the shops while his friends rolled joints of Cannabis and smoked them in broad daylight, ‘bunnin down the high grade cheese’ must of got boring to them as then they all started ‘rapping’ and shouting THREE SIX WEEZY SWARR ! over and over again. hurling abuse at the men that worked in Select & Save, just because they were asian and doing anything else aggressive or annoying.

Then one of the ‘boys we were hangin wif’ (lol) girlfriend turned up with her 2 children under the age of 3 and started hurling abuse at me ‘ARE U THE DIRTAY TRACKER DATS BIN F*CKIN MY MAN, ARE U DUMB *****, I WILL *** U UP, HES MY BABY DAD AND U THINK U CAN TAKE HIM,I DON’T THINK SO, HES GOT A YOUT WITH ME SO HE AINT GOIN NOWHERE. THREE SIX WEEZY TOWN, GET TO KNOW’. I presumed this girl was no older than 17 as her vocabulary was very poor. I returned to my car and never ever went back there again. Worse experience of my life.

I never advise anyone to go there. You’re not safe, even if you are with ‘ONE OF DA TOP BOYS FROM WEEZY TOWN’ lol !