Living in Sleaford
Written by Anonymous Visitor and posted in East Midlands, Lincolnshire

Sleaford, populated by neanderthal divs with no desire to better themselves or open their minds and horizons. Indeed, where else has a populace whose ambitions are gaining a tractor license and incest? Narrow-minded, mentally-deficient and blinkered, the average resident of Sleaford (Excepting those who have arrived from elsewhere and have actually seen something of the rest of the World) believe this festering pustule to be the centre of the universe. The highlight for them being the occasional trip to Grantham or, rarely, a visit to the cultural mecca and bright lights of Lincoln. Even the opening of a ‘Wine Bar’ – or slightly upmarket spit & sawdust pub had me weeping with mirth! To expect that a Sleafordian even KNOWS what wine is, let alone pour it down their chinless necks would puzzle genealogists for decades.

This ‘Sleepy’ (Read: Backwards) little market town has no desire to drag itself out of the middle-ages – Sleaford makes Saudi Arabia look cosmopolitan and interesting, a few beheadings on a Friday midday might actually liven things up a bit. You can almost feel the depressive atmosphere as you arrive, imitations of normal humanity roam the streets making any civilised people who enter this godforsaken cultural vacuum feel uneasy especially when encountering the locals. In summary, erasing it from the face of the earth would have no knock-on effect whatsoever and nobody would really take any notice of its demise. I never felt happier to leave and every time I have returned, nothing has changed, either in the town or the mentality of its residents.

  • Rox Puddle

    Very disappointed. I’m Italian, and I’m here, in Sleaford, from 8 months. I found a nice, welcoming city. Your comment seems exaggerated.

  • Mike Harriss

    Such a brilliantly description of the blessed sleaford, I lived there for many years and have family there, you can only thank sleaford as it propels you to move elsewhere and expand your horizons, I loved going to school there had the best time ever, I hope my son has the same experience in the even more backward norfolk, there are assholes wherever you may live but don’t let them get you down 👍😊😀

  • Liz Waters

    If you dislike our town so much, why bother coming back to visit. We do not need people like you who post such rubbish.

    • Gayle

      Well done Liz for illustrating so brilliantly the insular, jingoisitic mindset of the scrapings of existence who pollute this dump I was stuck in for 26 terrible years. And without even the vaguest inklings of irony! Top marks!

  • albiontyke

    There’s always an element of truth in satire. Being a Yorkshireman who moved to Lincoln some years ago where I have to admit I am perfectly happy, I have too had the misfortune of entering Sleaford on a number of occasions. Now I consider myself to be a pretty average looking middle aged Anglo-Saxon male, but for some reason just about every second person I walked past in Sleaford, looked at me as if I either I had no right to walk their streets or thought I was an alien from some far distant planet. Maybe it was because I was the only man not wearing Slade style stack heels or hob nail boots, I’m not sure!

    Yes Sleafordians really do believe that their Godforsaken cultureless excuse for a town is the centre of the Universe and anyone who challenges their belief system to the contrary would be at best sentenced to a week in the stocks or worse, made to do a penance by spending an evening at the one of the run down characterless local pubs enduring their slow witted Sleafordian excuse for humour, which is roughly on par to that of a six year old schoolboy with a challenging behaviour problem. You have been warned!