I introduce to you…. Sleaford. Apparently a “thriving market town”. Ask any “sleafordian” (as we are known for sum reason) and they will tell you that the market is a bag of sh*t selling mainly pegs and used batteries and the only thing thriving about Sleaford is the amount of *****. They are everywhere, burberry caps in air, trousers in socks, and cancer sticks held proudly in their gobs like some kind of ritual to the **** king. Who is the **** king?? Anyways…….
If you ever find yourself stranded in Sleaford you will be able to find the ***** around the local hot spot… Flicks nightclub. Entry requirements: 3 quid and a small weapon. I wouldnt advise going there. Failing that you could also try the train station, castle causeway, nags head passage and the local lidle’s buying cheap cider.
PLEASE AVOID JUBILEE.. The jubes may be ***** but they’re fooking armed and extremely bored and waiting 4 any unsuspecting fools to cross theyre paths.