Where do i start?… Where can you start in a place like skegness. Chavs live there, Chavs go on holiday there.. Skegness is some sort of holy ground where all chavs have to visit once in their life time, A strange burberry coloured pilgrimage but saying that chav fashions have changed since the time of the burberry baseball cap they are left for overweight sweaty fat men trying to sell stolen ambi pure plugins and a mobile phone lanyard whatever one of those is or are?..
but in skegness they have accommodation for these dirty scumbags some call it a stinking cess pit of filth and bad acting but others call it ‘Butlins’… In 1936 when billy butlin opened the camp in skegness he never thought it would now be a breeding ground for the new timmy mallet or sarah cox and a place for dirty looking young single parents to take their children and be entertained by a failed actor dressed up in a noddy costume
but enough about butlins , Now onto the main ”town” of skegness if you can call it now… There isn’t as many wandering around the streets like tracksuit cladded zombies as there is now a mcdonalds they can sit inside/outside eating their Big Mac & Fries & Large Strawberry milkshake and a new strawberry & white chocolate mcflurry waiting for their disease infested lips to the plastic straw/spoon given with the ”ice cream”
The main shop in skegness for chavster fashion would have to be a store called ”labelss” if you enter that shop your ears are filled with the latest fairground floor fillers but more on the fairgrounds later… This shop has everything for the giro waving scum-bag… If you are looking for one of those popular ‘Von Dutch’ T-shirts but can’t afford a proper one just pop into labels and get a ‘Von Butch’ shirt.. Nobody will notice.. The other lovely things you can get in there are awfully comedic football shirts with the motto ‘show me your tackle’ yes , how rather amusing or if your a ”male” you could always try a t shirt with ”3U5K M3 0F5” printed on the front .. lovely?
The Fairground: The main employment chance for young boys and girls in skegness… you could collect money on the ferris wheel and press the button that says ”GO” or if you feel like it you could go for a job on the waltzers and spin fellow chavs & chavettes around whilst walking backwards and taking a cheeky look up a girls skirt to have a look at her ‘G-String’ as the smell of grease wafts the abandoned car park
I could go on for days… but i won’t, I could go on about a small village next to skegness called ingoldmels which holds ‘Europes Largest Outdoor Market’ next to a ”theme” park called ‘Fantasy Island , Prove me wrong but i thought an island was supposed to be surrounded by water , Not by caravans and council estates
Your East Coast Chav Reporter Theeze Fleaze.. Signing Off