When you first walk around Shrewsbury you wouldn’t think it was a c**v town, and compared to some other places I’ve been it’s not that bad, but make no mistake, they’re here and they’re probably standing at the Argos jewelry counter right now eyeing up some gold signet ring.
C**v hot spots in Shrewsbury:
Outside McDonald’s – They’ve been hanging round outside there as long as I can remember. I have no idea why c***s congregate outside McDonalds (or Maccy D’s as they like to call it), it’s just one of those facts of life.
The Bus Stop – They can be seen crawling all over here, usually harrasing some old lady for the extra 20p then need for the bus ride home to Monkmoore, Harlescott or Telford Estate.
Liquid – I suppose it is possible to have fun here, even when your shoes are stuck to the floor, but you have to admit that it’s 50% c**v at the best of times.
Flares – I don’t even go in there because it’s gayer than a naked-man-pyramid but I hear it’s where c***s go when they get to 30.
Wilkinson’s – That who area is infested by 30 somethings called Sharon. Wtf.
Any sports shop – The usual magnet to c***s, go into any sports shop and you’ll find them looking at the caps to find one they can wear at some crazy 90 degree angle to their head.
THE BIG QUESTION: Do c***s know that they are infact c***s?
Seems unlikely. Some c***s grow out of it when they’re 14 or so, others are destined for a life of wife beating, harrasing old ladies and standing outside shops drooling on the windows.
A SHREWSBURY TWIST ON THE C**V – The Skate Rat C**v / Avril Lavigne C**v
I’ve noticed a lot of these round Shrewsbury, little annoying shoplifters carrying skateboards around who can’t do much with them other than use them to break windows on entry. Also, Avril Lavigne type c***s who think they’re punk as f**k just because they’ve got some striped elbow sock things. You know you like Craig David, why resist?
I’d like to end with a little message to anyone who’s name is Kev, Big Dave, or any nickname ending with ‘o’ such as Devo. You’re a twat, stay at home in Monkmoore and keep the inbreeding there.