Written by Anonymous Visitor and posted in West Midlands

Shirley, a quiet leafy sleepy suburb situated between the M42 and Brum and on the borders of Solihull. It sounds nice but scratch away at this suburban wet dream and you discover a chavtastic underclass ruled for years by the ‘Shrley Park Mad Men’ SPMM and taken over after a fierce chip fight by ‘The Shirley Park Massive’…These scum vary in age from 7 to 40+…all frequented chav prep school ‘Light Hall’ situated next to Bills Woods for easy escape, bunking and soggy second hand porn. A bunch of these aging subnormal pikeys dressed up like E17 still knock about the gates of said school picking up their underage ‘birds’ before heading to ‘da park’ for a blue pop drinking session, a spot of impregniation and to beat up the skateboarders for being ‘benders’ and having a hobby…Then its off to greggs or michaels drink stop for a spot of lunch and a piss up the door watched on proudly by their love bite covered scutters..Its around this time that they head to the Saracens Head pub to pick their kids up from their drunk toothless parents and to annoy the s**t out of the patrons with swearing and incorrect use of the english language…The rest of the day is spent fighting out of towners, paying the incorrect fair on buses, setting fire to bins, a bit more shagging finished off with a ‘ruck’ on Cranmore estate green….
Granted Shirley isn’t the Bronx nor will its chav army ever steal the thunder or the women of the Vale or Erdington crews but for shear desperation and a degrading spectacle the Shirley Park Massive win hands down…