Sherborne (or Shubbun – depending where you’re from)

DorsetSouth West

Sherborne. An historic Abbey Town in North Dorset, within easy reach of the Jurassic Coast, ancient monuments and green and pleasant pastures.

Sounds great, doesn’t it?

Well… I wrote an article here a while back, maybe 2 years, and it seems to have been deleted… Can’t think why, other than to replace the mask I had so ruthlessly torn away…

Anyway; a brief summary: Sherborne is situated in North Dorset. Nearby is the **** capital of the North Dorset/South Somerset area, Yeovil. Sherborne is surrounded by picturesque countryside and some excellent views.

But of course, like all good things in life, there has to be something to spoil it. You guessed it, *****.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am no T-totaler, but recently Sherborne has got a bit out of hand. The Cross Keys, and my namesake, has to be the biggest dive in the town followed closely by the rest of the licenced premises which I cannot place on the scale of dreadfullness since they are all so close.

However, I will mention a couple. “The Swan” I believe is responsible for the lowering of the already low standards the people of Sherborne have accepted. It’s open till 2, packed to the brim with the most awful people and supporting the most off-putting “bands” that dare to humiliate themselves there on a weekly basis. The Swan is if you like, the “nightclub of Sherborne”. This feeds that ever-present thorn in the side of any town… the late night kebab house…

Why don’t they just fcuk off? The mess the ***** create with their ****** lamb *** “kebabs” and “chips’n’cheese”… These ********-like kebab houses feed off and at the same time feed our **** culture. They ensure quiet places are kept noisy for 6 hours a night and churn out **** that no-one would eat when sober. At least the best chip shop in town has the decency to close at 10 whereas the ****** will stay open till the last **** comes crawling in to lick the vinegar off the floor.

This is mainly because no-one wants to waste their money in Yeovil and then have to pay rip-off charges to get a cab back to Sherborne, and also because door closing at the other pubs co-incides with “last in” at The Swan. Anyway, enough about that dump.

The schools… Well Sherborne has many. Clashes often occur between the public schools and the comprehensive. These are amusing to watch and give the town a bit of life during the daytime when there is little else to look at than old people and primary school drop-outs.

On the outside, Sherborne looks a “delightful” place, but when you’ve lived here for 20 years, you will realise it’s anything but that. At least they have stepped up the Police presence in the last few years… but that still doesn’t stop wing mirrors being kicked off, windows smashed, shouts and screams at 3am and a constant knowledge that this town is slipping slowly into a quagmire of chavdom from which it will never escape.

To summarise… there are too many pubs and piss-heads, too many secondary schools, too many ***** from outside seeing this place as a “soft touch”, that dump of a pub “The Swan”, Yeovil just down the road, too many drug dealers and an increasing acceptance of **** culture developing in the town. It has some nice shops (3 or 4) and looks nice to those looking in…

But believe me. Sherborne is not what it’s made out to be. Word is already out. You don’t need me to tell you.

My model for de-constructing the **** culture in a town (not city):

1) Deny late licences
2) Deny planning for late night kebab dumps

It’s simple. Otherwise let our towns rot in their own self-inflicted filth.

Top 10 worst places to live in England 2020