Shepton Mallet

Stuck in the middle of nowhere ( or Somerset as it is sometimes known) is a small market town called Shepton Mallet ( affectionately know as **** & Smell It ) . Like every other towns it has it’s own **** community, with the lads in their oversized baggypants trousers, michelin-man like coats, the odd burberry cap ( not many coz they can’t afford that yet) and the lasses with trademark scrape-backs, hoopy earrings and sporty clothes that are 3 sizes too small.

The boys in their Fiesta/Corsa/Nova with the obligatory incomplete paint job circle around the town every 2 minutes ( that’s how long it takes to do the lap ) trying to look cool. When they got dizzy from the circling they go upto the bus stop on Station road where they all park and open their bonnets so we can see that the engine is just as f*cked as the bodywork.

2 areas of the town seem to produce these specimens, both 95% council estates, being Hillmead and Ridgeway.

How grim is your Postcode?

Not much happens in the town apart from the windows getting kicked in in most of the town centre’s shops ( or empty premises, which is nearly half).

Come to think of it I am not really sure if Shepton Mallet actually qualifies as a **** town because no-one can afford the Argos bling yet or the trademark Burberry. Either that or the real ***** are ******* out in Frome and Midsomer Norton…

Top 50 worst places to live in England 2022 as voted for by you