Written by Anonymous Visitor and posted in South East

Old Shenfield is exactly what it says on the tin: it is comprised of respectable middle-class housing dating from late-Victorian to the inter-war period, with some recent modern-day additions.
Shenfield Park is also middle-class, but has a larger presence of terraces and 1970s semis. Nothing wrong with that, because it is a nice area.
However, with the onset of the Chav (or the ‘Rude-Boy’, as they are known locally,) Shenfield Park has become infested with these human vermin, whereas the Chav-count in Old-Shenfield remains, thankfully, lower in comparison.

For years, these two sub-divisions of a sub-division lived side-by side, and nobody gave any thought that there was any difference between the two places. But that has changed, and Shenfield Park has become a breeding-ground for Chavs. They are festering, and there is nothing the locals can do. Old Shenfield does not suffer as badly, but the two worlds do collide, at a place where no sane person sets foot after about 6pm.


It is a road, sealed-off by bollards, with the Chav landmark of Shenfield: the bench. By day, this bench is where you go if you want to be heckled, or try and have somebody trip you over, or go when you want a piece of sandwich thrown at your head.
By night, it is a very dangerous place, and should definitely be avoided at all costs, if you know what’s good for you!

It is from the point that they spill, like unwanted leaks (and are leaks ever wanted?) onto the high street, where they proceed in turning the place into an R&B video.
On Friday nights, the filth and grime of Shenfield Park swarm, in numbers in excess of 100, into Shenfield, where they catch the train at the station and sod off to some other unfortunate town, where undeserved beatings are inevitable.

Their presence is enough to alert the local police, who move in to attempt (usually unsuccessfully,) to dissipate these mobs. You don’t get that with normal groups of friends, do you?

It is well known that they all group until they are of an unstoppable number, and then raid Threshers until all the shelves are bare. And they are all answerable to the laughably-named group of grown-up Shenfield Park Chavs: The P-Unit.
Even the police have heard of them, but I have fortunately never crossed their path.

The Park near the primary school in a Chav hot-spot, and a particualr favourite places of theirs for vandalising property. Do not go here if you are a Goth, because you will receive some… objections, to your sense of style. At night, this place is filled with dangerous gangs, concealed by the cover of darkness. Do not stare into the darkness if you walk past, or they will come after you, offended and hurt for having been looked at by a stranger.

If you want to avoid Chavs in Shenfield you must:
-Keep out of Shenfield Park as much as possible (especially at night!)
-Stick to Old Shenfield if you need to walk somewhere,
-Keep out of the lower, station-end of the high street, particularly after nightfall.
Shenfield is being-dragged down by the filthy, hated Chavs, but we must all be thankful that there isn’t an industrial estate in Shenfield, or our problems would be far worse!