Sheffield

A walk through Sheffield and its surrounding fleapits is what nightmares are made of. The last time I was in Sheffield some guy with a needle ******* from his forearm projectile-vomitted a stomachfull of special brew just inches away from my face.

They don’t have any teenage pregnancy there, insted they have infant pregnancy. this is one of the most disturbing aspects about the city; that is if you dont include all of the anti social yobs and boy racers. These low life rejects spend most of their time joyriding round in pergout 106s’ with sport plastic stickers on them, or in the worst cases written on the side of them on emulsion paint. when they are not driving around making a nucience of themselves the are syphoning fuel from other (more) law abiding peoples’ cars.

There are occasions when one of these ideots manages to get into a university and spread their stupidity along fellow students. Fortunatley these instances are few and far between. However they do meaningless subjects like media studies and psycology; thefore they dont have any use to society even if they do manage to graduate (which they usually achieve via performing ******** upon their lecturers).

How grim is your Postcode?

An example of a social event in Sheffield is a large gathering of yobs proving their manliness by consuming vast quantities of methalated spirits and other such alcohol based cleaning products. These events are not stopped by the police, as the police officers are so **** that they prefer to join in with the festivities and usually outperform the ***** at their own game.

Fortunately, the population of Sheffield is lower than it might have turned out to be. This is because most inhabitants of Sheffield believe that condoms aid the conception of children.

Sheffield ***** usually listen to ***** techno music, but the odd **** might throw in some metal just to be cool.

Sheffield… a great place to leave, but an even better place to avoid.