Sevenoaks

As an escapee of Sevenoaks i cannot comment on the current “****-status” of sevenoaks, but i do remember going to school at the lovely Bradbourne School For Dogs, oops i mean Girls…… Most girls in my year are now mothers of many children by many different “Wildernesse Boys” (the local **** school for boys) and most of them are probably on their 2nd or 3rd child by 21, have not got a job,

the ***** of sevenoaks left school having only learnt how to truant, and shoplift… and have dreams of leaving school getting pregnant and ask the council for a house…

I also remember pubs like Bar Med, Broadwalk, The Vine, The Sennokian, The Camden Arms were well known for always having at least one fight usually ***** fighting other ***** over which ******** they are going to shag in near by Knole Park, or even worse… Blighs Meadow Car Park,

How grim is your Postcode?

I can understand their confusion though every **** in sevenoaks has slept with every ******** it must be hard for their puney minds to keep track of who they are with one week to the next….

Most ***** live in Dunton Green, or Bat and Ball, especially Greatness Lane, most of them in council houses, or with their parents…

good places to hang out (apart from the afore mentioned pubs) are in front of their stolen TV watching their friends appear on trisha, or Bat and Ball station – which has frequent trains to lewisham another popular **** hang out..

and to top it all off, very recently the Queen **** set up residence in Sevenoaks – Daniella Westbrook

but luckily sevenoaks is not as ******** as Tonbridge or Tunbridge Wells, and there is still a chance Sevenoaks could pull itself back out of this rut…

but until then i raise a glass to the fair few of us who didnt pop down to HSamuel and buy that oversized clown necklace and get pregnant so the council could give us a house….