Living in Selsey. West Sussex
Written by Anonymous Visitor and posted in South East, United Kingdom, West Sussex

Selsey, a forgotten backwater town at the end of the line (literally) nestling on the English Channel.

A hellhole of no prospects, poor education, no economy, filled with feral burberry-clad losers of all ages, either outside the convenience stores and off-licences (under 18) or in one of the “locals only” pubs (see The Slaughtered Lamb in American Werewolf in London), or down “the camp”, a revolting king-size caravan/trailer park (the largest in Europe, doncha know) in one of the bars or the arcades.

In deepest West Sussex, around the snobby city of Chichester, there are many smaller towns, and if you can’t afford to live in “Chi”, you live in Bognor. If you can’t afford Bognor, you live in Barnham, if you can’t afford Barnham, then it’s one of the Bersteds, after that it’s Yapton, and so on, and at the end of this socio-economic line is Selsey, a once thriving tourist town, now home to some of the grimmest excuses for people I’ve ever seen (and I’ve lived in some rough areas, Croydon – where I witnessed a murder outside the big station there, Streatham Hill, West Reading, Eastleigh).

Selsey is a dead end town. How anyone can say Chichester is a chav town is unbelievable when this cesspool is less than nine miles away amazes me.

A local post office was run by a wonderfully friendly Bangladeshi couple (Selsey is a shocking 99.5% white, so diversity is still unknown there), until they were driven out by the local thugs smashing their windows and daubing NF all over their property.

Walking through the high street of an evening will bring an encounter with the bling-toting crew cut teenage gang, guaranteed to at least hurl volleys of abuse at you, or on a good day, they’ll throw stones at you.

Elizabeth Duke is too good for these latchkey dropkicks, they shop at the indoor market or the infamous summer Monday market. Maybe you’d prefer Southern England’s premier fencing events, the car boot sales in the summer. Stolen mobiles a go go.

Outside the One Stop on the high street parade, these betracksuited youths gather in alarming numbers, “steam” their way in and out occasionally, knowing that the police are about an hour away, and the old biddies behind the counter are powerless to do anything about it. Once they’ve charged up on WKD or somesuch alcopop they’ll roam the streets in groups looking for something to smash up (bus shelters an old fave, but shop windows are fair game, churches too).

Down at the massive West Sands caravan complex, the locals gather in the Embassy (an old style “entertainment” venue) starting fights with visiting chav families. An old friend used to work as physical security at the complex, and was never short of work, either massive 20 person brawls (often over local teen sluts being “eyed up” by holidaymakers) or a caravan break in rate approaching 10%.

This town is doomed.

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  • Dave

    I have lived in Selsey for nearly a year now. Sure, there’s not a lot of public places, bars or clubs but that’s the charm. I’m a Partner at a large accountancy firm in central London and the appeal of Selsey is its peaceful and relaxed feel. I have the sea 100m from my house and it’s a lovely place to go out for a walk. Everyone you pass always says hello. I also regularly go for evening walks and I never feel threatened. Yes, you occasionally get groups of teenagers hanging about but if you actually take the time to say ‘hi’ most of them are very polite.

    I have some stones/gravel in my drive way and shortly after moving in there was a group of kids picking up stones and throwing them across the road at a tin can. I went out expecting a full on fight and said “Do you want to put my stones back…”. This was followed by the most extraordinary event. They actually replied “oh sorry” as they crossed the road, picked up every stone and placed them back on my drive! They’ve not been a problem since.

    As many others have stated, the only trouble we ever get in Selsey seems to come from the holiday makers. Thankfully most of them never leave Bunn. The other point to note is that Bunn now have a very large security team who seem to do an excellent job onsite.

    With the addition of the new Asda complex (opening soon) Selsey will have more choice and additional coffee shop facilities, which is always good. Especially given that the two co-ops (one run by Northern Cooperative and one run by Southern Cooperative) like to hike the prices!

    Personally I am only 38 years old, but many of the population here are significantly older. Not a bad thing but it does mean that the doctors surgery is always manic and it’s hard to get an appointment in between the patients who think that doctors can turn back the clock! The medical staff get a hard time of it but it’s not their fault that so many of the ‘more mature’ community seem to go just for a chat. They do operate a ticketing system which helps to get a same day appointment if you’re willing to arrive at 8am and wait.

    In general though Selsey is a great place. The new Asda will also reduce the need to drive to Chichester / Bognor. Although Chichester is only a 10-15 minute drive away. Bognor is 20-25 minutes.

    I used to live in Southampton and it would easily take 15 minutes to get to the city centre, so no difference. In fact Portsmouth City Centre / Gunwharf Quays is only a 25-30 minute drive and Southampton City Centre / Hedge End are both 40-45 minutes away. To get to my office in central London (going via the Havant route) only takes 2hrs including my tube journey.

    I find myself rambling now, so I shall sign off and leave you to make your own mind up about Selsey.

  • Spencer James Campbell Mackay

    It sounds like your speaking from experience. You can’t knock something until you have tried it. So the fact is selsey has properties of old and new from 150k -1M+. Diversity is welcomed here. Given the local businesses that employ a world of europeans. Every place has its faults as well as its up sides. The fact you know so much about these demeaning places only screams you are trying to outline yourself from being one of them. But you are a hypocrite to society. If you believe that your so called words of wisdom are that of knowledge and experience is only a joke given you are not old enough or worldly enough to know what is wrong and right. Have you traveled the world and actually visited countries that are struggling to survive. ‘no’ I didn’t think you had, Perhaps you should pack your bags and f**k off then come back to revisit and it will open your narrow minded eyes to the fact your a prat. Or better yet us locals can help you jump of the lifeboat bridge with some lovely concrete slippers!

  • John Graham

    I grew up here and then lived and worked in London for 10 years. I then came back and now commute. The inaccuracies in this piece set the tone, the contradictions define it and the anonymity removes the credibility. This appears to be a very personal axe to grind, with the author coming across as a scared little man. I worked on the campsite when I was younger as the stage manager, this gave me an understanding of the entertainment industry I still utilise today. The camp has also recently hosted Billy Ocean. Fair enough, not a cultural Mecca, but not boring either. Life in Selsey, as with all things, is what you make of it. I have travelled extensively. It is a place like any other. With good points and bad points. I happen to like it, but then I have a great social life full of music and friends and I am not sad and bitter. I also happen to like Chichester. An interesting observation is that the first insult people volunteer is what they fear most about themselves. Perhaps it is the author who is bankrupt financially, emotionally and spiritually.

  • Dan

    As someone who has lived in Selsey for the last 11 years I can safely say it’s got a lot better! Most of the scummy locals have been moved off to Northchapel and to be honest, if you avoid the Fisherman’s Joy you can avoid those that are left!

  • ColinF

    This comment is far from the truth, I have visited Selsey since 1986 and now we have decided to move to the area as it is a friendly community and a fanatic place to live, the above writer has got his or facts completely wrong

  • Rob

    F**k the author of this rubbish article for complaining that a town is 99.5% white! COMPLAINING! Would he post an article and complain if a town was 99.5% black? Asian? Every single chav in the country is infinitely more valuable than the anti-white racist piece of trash.

  • Oliver

    What an utter crock of rubbish!

    My folks have lived in Selsey for 5+ years & I think you know that you’ve written utter tosh, because you won’t even put your name on it.

    For anyone reading the above & thinking to visit or not. Selsey is a lovely town, far better thought of by many than whoever typed that out ^

  • david reeve

    How can you say selsey is bad place to live , when you have the sea and views over looking the isle of wight and round world many times and rather live selsey than snog of new year York.

  • Steve Coyle

    I have recently moved from London with my family and have found Selsey to be very friendly.Our oldest daughter and her family followed us down shortly after and we have all found the people in the shops and all the “locals” to be very pleasant.The school my grand daughter attends is Sidleham and we are all extremely happy with the progress she has made in such a short time.The village as a whole has many many amenities to join and this should be appreciated by all.The writer of the article is very obviously bitter and twisted and therefore makes our village a much better place to live now that we know that he or she is no longer living here.

  • Selsey Resident

    If you don’t like Selsey, stop moaning about it and clear off somewhere else. If you are referring to East Beach Post Office, that was closed down, as I understand it, because of the numbers not adding up, if you get my drift. The locals also cannot get into the Embassy unless they work there. So get your effing facts right before mouthing off.

  • Dave

    Rather unfair, it’s not that bad. A cleverly written but ultimately cowardly write up.

    • Belinda

      Wow. Well I am from the east midlands and have moved here as I go to chi uni. For my third year in the area i was absolutely over the moon to have finally found my dream home by the sea. My house is my sanctuary and in the town here, I feel safe. With a beach for a garden, indoor and outdoor pool, a secret stairway leading to a beauiful balcony which looks over the sea, a pool table, and 10 great, bubbly, adorable people who I now call family.

      There isnt much to do here so it makes you more likely to travel a bit more to surrounding area.. which Is good right!? Get off your ass and explore!!

      Another upside to there not being much is that it doesnt attract too many people.. so keeps it a small quiet town.. which I actually love.

      I feel lucky to have found somewhere which I love so much and will be staying for as long as I can 🙂

      Most people will judge a place by the people they associate with.. but the truth is.. everywhere you go on this PLANET you will find nobs. And most of the people who ruin a place are the f*ckers which walk around hating it.

      Therefore my answer to all you that talk of it so badly.. choose who you spend your time with, get out more, meet new people, spend more time down by the beach, also get some hobbies and start enjoying your life and taking love and happy energy with you.. then maybe your look on selsey and the rest of your life wont be so dire.. crude minds spout crude feelings. Big love to all the selsey lovers xxx

  • Ricky

    Come and see an exhibition which Celebrates the life of a Man who lived in Selsey and Loved Selsey, Sir Patrick Moore
    Sir Patrick Moore 3D exhibition

    This exhibition recreates Sir Patricks study at his home “Farthings” with original items on show owned by Sir Patrick, will be open to the Public, every week in July on Thursdays and Fridays and every day in August 10:00 a.m till 4:00 p.m. Free admittance.

    The 3D display is located within the Selsey Cricket Club Pavilion and will be a permanent visual reminder of Sir Patrick’s personality, to include original memorabilia, books & pictures relating to his many years involvement as a keen, exuberant & valued member of Selsey Cricket Club.

    Internationally Renowned Astronomer, Author, Sky at Night Presenter, Accomplished Musician, Cat Lover, & of course Intrepid Cricketer, this Exhibition seeks to be a reminder and tribute to the great man Sir Patrick Moore, much loved by the community of Selsey

    The exhibition is located at Selsey Cricket Club.
    The Sir Patrick Moore Pavilion,
    The Recreation Ground,
    Paddock Lane,
    West Sussex,
    PO20 9BB.

    Any enquiries to Mike Nicholls

  • Content of Selsey

    Well, it all depends on what you want out of life – you obviously expect so much that you may never be satisfied with any place or style of life. Contentment is the key and I have lived in Selsey for almost 25 years now. I love it, the beautiful sea in the summer and the fierce sea in the winter. The local people I know here are good people who join in with the fundraising each year for the lifeboat and the town it self. Wherever you go someone will always say hello and if they thought you were in trouble, they would offer to help.
    Get a nice life whoever you are because you obviously haven’t got a life.

    • Jean

      The last time I went to Selsey I was very aware that we were not welcome. Would never go there again

  • Keeley

    I love selsey I have lived hear since I was 2 and I have loved every second of living here so how dare you say its the worst place to live