Saltcoats: first thing to hit me was the smell of raw sewage

Living in Saltcoats
Living in Saltcoats

Saltcoats: first thing to hit me was the smell of raw sewage

AyrshireScotlandPic Via

Eleven months ago I moved to a small seaside town in Ayrshire to be closer to work. Unfortunately, relocating to Saltcoats turned out to be the worst move of my life.

The first thing to hit me was the smell of raw sewage. That, I convinced myself, I could live with. However this was the least of my problems as I later discovered.

I contacted an old friend, who lives in Saltcoats, and arranged to go out for a drink later that evening, thinking it would be a good opportunity to visit the local bars and meet some new friends. Later that night as I left my new home, for the two minute walk to the local Weatherspoons pub round the corner, I encountered a group of the local *****, or **** as they are known in Ayrshire. At first I wondered if they were speaking to me, “Ho you ya f*kin’ daftie”, I looked around, hoping there was someone standing behind me. Worse luck, the troglodyte with the Burberry cap and knuckles dragging on the ground was speaking to me. “Geez a ***”, the gormless idiot spat, “ I’m sorry, I don’t smoke”, I replied, trying to give him the best apologetic look I could muster. This, however was not a satisfactory response for the troglodyte, “Ya prick!”, he grunted. As I turned to walk away, hoping they would leave me alone now, I received a torrent of abuse followed by a bottle which, although it didn’t hit me, I’m pretty sure was intended to do me some damage.

Upon arriving at the arranged meeting place I recounted my experience to my friend, “Aye, don’t worry about it mate, this place is full of **** you’ll get a lot more of that”. I hoped he was wrong, but unfortunately for me, he wasn’t. As we left to visit another pub we passed another group of ***** , and received comments like, “Ya couple of fannys”, and, “Dafties”. I tried to ignore them, where my friend hardly seemed to notice. In the course of the rest of the evening, I saw five fights in three bars, and encountered more knuckle dragging ***** with limited vocabularies. Needless to say, I don’t go out in Saltcoats very often anymore.

I will be moving to a little town just outside Saltcoats shortly, to escape the reoccurrence of the type of events I have encountered over the past eleven months. Saltcoats, although just a small town, is by far the worst chavtown I have encountered. If there is anyone thinking of moving to this hellhole, I would urge them to reconsider. This is the biggest load of bollocks I have ever read about Saltcoats, I have lived here for over 20 years and it is nothing like what this guy has wrote here.

yes there’s wee ****** f*ckers about but they are in every town I have ever been in. So for the guy who wrote this who is clearly just trying to make this town a desolate town of zombies is an absolute clown of a guy. I haven’t bottles thrown at me outside any pub or got abuse shouted at me on my way to anywhere. But that’s my rant over.

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