Saltash (a cornish haven on the outskirts of plymouth)

DevonSouth West

Saltash is, i suspose, a suburb of Plymouth, c**v capital of the south west, but saltash boasts being on the other side of the river tamar, meaning it has the cheek to call itself cornish.

The 3 main c**v hangouts are as follows;


1) Saltash Community School (or the bottom of the school drive to be precise) – here is where at breaktimes/end of the school day/during any ‘f*****g gay’ lessons the junior c***s can hang out. It usually consists of 17 – 19 year old boys in their keved up cars, among 14-16 year old girls smoking FEGS (or waiting for the ‘ends/dabs of ends’ of their friends).
My experience of school in this town was one where a 15year old girl became preggers (by a 21year old – more experienced c**v) but then the baby became the fashion accessory of the year, and shortly after 3 of her friends got knocked up, 2 by the same guy – but there still best friends – insest is welcome – we r cornish after all’
Inside the school the s**m pit of saltash is still alive. Never before have i seen toilets so covered in ‘for sex phone 84****’. and ‘joe bloggs is a f*****g slag’. It has puzzled me for years why you have a black marker pen with you in the toilets.

2) Saltash College of Knowledge (including K2 youth club) – This is where the c***s go after completing their compulsory education. They would participate in courses such as ‘beauty therpy’ or ‘hairdressing’ for the girls and ‘computing’ for the boys.
On a weekday evening part of the college opens up for the 14+ youth group. This is basically a place that you can tell your parents your going to, so (for the ones that care) they know your in a safe place, while actually you sit outside kwik shop waiting to find someone who’ll buy 3 litres of ‘white lighting’ for you then proceed to walk the streets, bottle in hand, sleeping with as many people, abusing as many adults, and drinking as many litres as u can. Before ariving home at 10.05pm only to go straight to bed.

3) Saltmill Skate Park – a fairly new addition to the chavdom. when developing saltash a few years ago they must have taken into consideration the huge under age drinking problem this town has. So to solve it some bigwig thought – i know, we’ll build a skate park just outside town so all the youths can hangout there. They’ll be able to drink, take class A drugs, have unprotected sex and vandilise to their hearts content, but it’ll be just outside town so no one can see to complain – problem solved!!

The other thing about this town is that in order for the children to avoid becomming complete c***s, the only other option would be becomming a slipknot/korn/metalica fan of the scariest variety – where is the happy medium this town is crying out for!!!


Top 10 worst places to live in England 2019