Yet another north west city I’m afraid. I was a student at Salford University for a year (failed the course so left thank goodness), and whenever you step out of the campus it’s like walking into Sarajevo.

It’s the only place I know where some ***** (who hopefully have been strung up by their scrawny genitals by now) are daring enough to **** up a Securicor employee making a pick-up from a Chavdonald’s. Salford is also the only city I know where the high schools actually have maternity wards grafted on to the sides.

Salford of course was also home to Joule, the famous pioneer of energy laws. If only he was alive now, to see his laws in use – the amount of energy in one ****’s fist is equal to the amount of grief he gets from his **** girlfriend.

How grim is your Postcode?

People may look down their noses at Manchester, but the Big City is about 5 billion times better than Salford.

Top 50 worst places to live in England 2022 as voted for by you