Saddleworth is not Yorkshire and you’re not Alan Sugar

Living in Saddleworth, Greater Manchester

Green green Saddleworth. Where you can escape the harsh reality from what is commonly known as Hiroshima little boy (Oldham).

Saddleworthians are easily spotted in a crowd amongst their fellower Oldhamer’s. They’re the ones who have fake accents, no wit and a false sense of superiority. Yes if you like a bit of bullshit and self congratulations you’re in for a treat.

Ironically they think the rest of Oldham is lower in the pecking order (not really aiming high considering Syria are having a live8 for Oldham) yet celebrate Yorkshire day waving Yorkshire flags. A simple google search would reveal to the they’re in Greater Manchester alas they’re from Saddleworth so think they must be right. Whilst on this point Oldham hasn’t been Lancashire for years.. Correct one on this at your own peril as the Oldham mentality ensures a fight, should one have a view not exactly uniform with the rest.

How grim is your Postcode?

Saddleworth locals like to think they’re the big wigs around these parts and love nothing more than adopting a patronising tone with a bit of ridiculous job title in the city centre on the side. Everyone here knows each other which makes it a hard place to move to. Those who do move here, myself included, are affectionately given the label comer inners, usually by an overweight, smug, alcoholic who thinks this is a one up for them like the school bully.

Saddleworthians love nothing more than a good old cafe or pretentious wine bar to show the rest of Oldham how progressive and cultured people live. In fact on average Saddleworth has a cafe per every 100 metres usually run by a sour faced drunk (who locals say is a bit of a character).

3 famous people are associated with these parts (2 are notorious serial killers) one is a footballer. Due to the lack of celebs they’ll celebrate anything from brass music to a film crew once passing through.