Romford is, to say the least, a place where a ****’s dreams can come true. The sometimes elusive regional **** is so common here they have their own classification. Essex Boy and Essex Girl.
A spattering of boy racers, Burberry and fake white leather stillettos are certainly at home in this London Borough.
If you fancy a good night out with Duane and Sharon, this is the place to come, violence and turf battles (with extra helpings of weapons) are a frequent occurance as the clubs all let out at the same time.
Also for those of you unable to be served in the multitude of alcoholic watering holes in the area, you can always walk the streets with a cheap bottle of vodka bought for you by an elder outside the local off-licence, they are always happy to help. (Also offer availiable for cigarettes).
Time and Envy is the club most visited by the seemingly endless masses of **** and ******** Teenyboppers. But not to worry, if clubs arent your thing, there is a multitude of pubs to choose from.
The Goose is a cheap pub located close to the station, usually packed out, but always good if you want to see some **** Vs Grunger action.
And after your hectic night of Smirnoff Ice drinking and dancing round handbags you can grab a quick kebab from the local greasy fry and join your comrades on the back of one the local double decker busses to harras any unlucky old ladies that may be out after 9pm. Other back of the bus activities that are popular for young and old ***** alike include food throwing and weed smoking with all the windows closed.
And for those who love their music, the back of one of these busses is a great place to catch the latest ‘Nang tune’ from any number of top of the range mobile phones that have been jacked that night from unsusecting passers by.
All in all Romford is the place to be if you say Brap wear Burberry perfume and support low batty’s. But remember your fellow **** may be drunk on Baccardi Breezer, so recognising another of their kind may be tricky. Stick to places you know with people you know, or **** Paradise may become **** Hell.