Rishton

**** overspill for the surrounding **** towns. An unfortunately high concentration of *****-per-square-foot due to it being positioned in the **** catchment areas for Blackburn, Accrington, Great Harwood, Altham, Oswaldtwistle, Church, Clayton-le-Moors. You just couldn’t get more **** than that!!!

This is the ********* suburb in the area, it’s an overspill town for the likes of ****-havens Blackburn (to the West) and Accrington (to the East) and has ***** of such low quality that they can’t even afford replica burberry. They wear replica replica replica charity shop 80’s Fila tracksuits. Usual **** uniform, tracky bottoms tucked in their socks (aaaahahahahahaha!!!!) and Vauxhall Novas are still the weapon of choice in this neck o’ the woods. One of the oddest things about Rishton is that it has a Lotus & Bentley dealership. The saddest thing about this is that it’s the ONLY landmark in this dull, dreary hole of a place. Luckily for the rest of us, Rishton is built around a large geographical dip in the earth which potentially means it could just be filled in with concrete (a theory I mean to test before my days are through). Sadly for Rishtoners, their chavishness means that they’re rarely accepted outside the confines of their little pisshole which just adds to their ********** problems and their complete lack of understanding for any culture other than that of the ‘tartan’ baseball cap. Mostly they seem to enjoy ******* out anywhere along the main street, having *** with each other and their pets by the canal and feeding on a diet of mainly chips and lard. Children are taught to smoke from birth and every sentence must have at least one obscenity within it – this last requirement is often taught to the young through drinking games fuelled by cheap cider and Thunderbirds. The richer ***** enjoy more luxurious dietary supplements of smack and billy and will sell their sisters to passing out-of-town ***** for a wrap. What can I say? been through the place, wouldn’t wanna stop there!

How grim is your Postcode?
Posted in Uncategorised