Reigate, Surrey

Reigate, jewel in the crown of the Surrey Hills market towns, has at last succumbed to the tidal wave of Chavity sweeping our nation. She tried for so long to fend off advances from neighbouring Redhill and Woodhatch (hotbeds of pikiness), but the virus has found a breeding ground in the White Hart (Church Street).

There, some six months ago, I spotted a youth sporting the Holy Trinity – Burberry baseball cap, Nickleson top and Bling. But this was no one-off. Slowly, but surely, they came. And they brought their ‘women’ with them (you know, the ones with the tracksuit bottoms that ironically say ‘Babe’ or Angel’ on the ****). However, they seem to have been coralled in the White Hart.

Never consider entering this pub when there is a Premiership or England football match being shown. Suddenly, the Von Dutch tops open to reveal a dazzling array of Chelsea and Arsenal shirts – maybe they are more lost in Reigate than I thought!

How grim is your Postcode?

Still, the indigenous people of Reigate occupy the higher ground up by Caffe Uno, Blue Anchor and Gurkha Spice, but they feel they can only repel the oncoming tide for so long. ***** have been sighted as far East along Church Street (the main drag) as The Market Hotel and even, in what must have been a daring, night-time raid, outside Marks & Spencer!

But the majority of Fiestas, Novas and other hot-hatches are to be found mainly outside the White Hart. It is certainly of interest to visit the town and their main haunt, to see how a foriegn body can survive, and even prosper in a seemingly repellent host

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