Redhill aka ‘the hole’

South EastSurrey

I live on the border between Redhill and Reigate, and have done for about 15 years. I can fully identify with every word spoken about the truly chavvy qualities of Redhill. I myself recieved a lot of abuse from the c**v collectives when i went through a goth/grunger stage, although now i feel that being a goth/ grunger is similar to chavdom in the way that it is still being a sheep, still following a crowd, just a different crowd. That being said, I feel that there has been a serious omission by the lack of description of the embassy. Ahh, the embassy, also know as ‘the bassy’, ‘the embo’ or if you are truly hardcore redhill s**m you remember the old days when it was called millionares, translatd into redhillish: ‘mares’. I myself have been there many a time, and in its favour I have had some good times. But one must always monitor their behaviour. Never ever accidentally brush up against a girl, my sister did and was beaten unconscious on the podium. Also the men in there and trully the scummiest men alive, and will absolutely take advantage of you, as I found out when I foolishly got very drunk and a random c**v pushed me against a wall and tried to rip my tights off. The embassy has a strange mix of the posh kids from the grammar school ( of which I am one) and the absolute lowest form of human life. When you walk in within seconds you can smell the lynx that the c***s feel is oh so classy. Throughout the night you will hear the awful c**v accent flowing thrugh your ears, and you will see the c**v mating rituals. The embassy do try to make an effort by requesting no trainers, but to be swear swapping your reebok classics for a pair of super fly loafers (often from Jack’s van, the burger van in the car opposite which rents out shoes, how hygenic) does not change the wearer. There is the obligatory gold, the 3 inch long roots, the skirts which defy belief, and the c**v facelift of course. There are also 13/14 year old girls being fingered on the dancefloor, which is spectacular to behold. Without a doubt the embassy is hell, but as with all places it is what you make of it. I intend to go there tomorrow night in fact, but I will make sure that i do not look or behave chavish, so that they do not think I am one of them, as they mostly hunt only those of their own kind. If any of you go there, have fun but do watch out for the bottling that happens once every week, so much so that the police station a riot van outside the embassy there due to the inevitability of a fight. Fun, fun, fun.

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