Written by Anonymous. Posted in Berkshire, South East, United Kingdom
Are you a hardcore chav? Do you own a car that scrapes every speed bump? Do you wear a baseball cap to bed? Did you have a baby before the age of 16? Do you speak the language of chav? If this sound’s like you, then Reading is the place to be.
Reading is quite simlpy unique. Whereas most town’s/cities in the UK have Certain area’s in which the breed that is chav hang around, and certain area’s they will stay away from. Reading does not.
I will now do a tourist’s guide to a couple of  the chav hotspots in Reading:

Whitley- Aaah smell the scent of the sewage, the famously phrased Whitley Whiff. Arguably the chaviest part of Reading. The streets lined with large tatty council houses, community centres and various youth clubs. This is where you may want to settle down if your planning to build a large family of vicious mini-chavs with as many different partners as possible.

Southcote- Possibly the least multi-cultural area of Reading, where the chav’s here are predominantly white – but seem to wish they wern’t. Southcote hosts the 2 roughest schools in Reading also, Prospect and Hugh Faringdon. The only thing seperating the two is Prospect park, Reading’s centre of crime, where the young chav’s often clash.

Tilehurst- The area of chav’s coming from middle-class families. Usually chav’s that can talk the talk and that’s about it. So un-aware Mummies and Daddies provide there delightful children with the latest designer fasion and  the stupidly over-modified car’s.

Fancy a night out at chav-land? Well why not visit possibly the chaviest club in the world – The Ice Bar. Where if you get looked upon by somebodies slag of a girlfriend, regardless of the fact that you probably havent even acknowledged her, you will get beaten the s**t out of. Or the pleasent Bar Risa, where if you are stupid enough to take your girlfriend along with you, then to go and buy a drink or pop to the loo, you should expect a crowd of low-lifes to be crowded around her. Which again, is another excuse for you to get your ass kicked.

So I now come to my conclusion that, Reading is without doubt, the chav capital of Great Britain.

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