In modern society, what constitutes someone as being lucky or well-off? For those of you who have read my previous article about Ramsgate, you will be aware of my dad being a market trader there. I would say i have begun to pity the culture of Ramsgate, and the rest of Thanet too, but i’d be lying. These pathetic, retarded, gimp-like freaks have done nothing to deserve my pity, and soon you will understand why. A group of chavs walked down the market, one of whom, a boy, looked to be aged 16, with a girl no older than 13, and about four or five other boys definitely no older than 10. Of course, all were dressed in their “latest gear”. So anyway, as they approach the stall, i look at them with an evil glint in my eye, wishing they would bugger off and fall victim to some form of fatal biological agent. They look up at me to notice i’m watching them carefully, as they gather around the boxes of cigarette papers and lighters, at which time i knew what they wanted. One of the kiddy boys shouts out “how much r the clipper lighters” in his own chavvy way. I reply with the rather blatant words “Do you have any form of identification to prove you’re 16 or older?”. I hear a few grumbles under his breath, as the more senior of the chavs also asks about the price of the clipper lighters. Again, i ask him if he has any ID to prove his age, to which he says no. At this moment in time, my dad intervened and re-iterated what i’d said to them. For some reason, this triggered off what i like to call “Spazmodia”. It’s the part of a chav’s brain that makes them think it looks “hard” and earns them “respect” by questioning and back-chatting authority figures. The girl began to whinge about why ID is needed to buy these items, and also added that she and her friends could buy exactly the same item cheaper in another shop. So my dad told her to p!$$ off and buy one there if that’s the case. But alas, they stayed. Then, suddenly, much to the delight of my brain, one of the kids ran up to my dad and said to him, and i quote, “I got a lighter yeah! It’s much bettathan yours! But i dont smoke though! It’s a propa clipper lighta!” I started laughing whilst thinking “Well, why the hell have a lighter if you don’t smoke? I realise there are other uses for lighters than just lighting up a cigarette, but not for a 10 yr old freak!”
But anyway, it all ended in an amusing way. They bought a pound’s worth of Zig-Zag cigarette papers (note, ID is not needed for this item), or so they thought. They looked at the price of the Rizla papers, and saw “7 for £1”. But they picked up the Zig-Zag papers instead, not realising they were priced at “9 for £1”. So basically, if you f**k around with people and piss them off, don’t expect any favours from them!