Well, what can i say? To call Preston a **** ******** hell hole just wouldn’t do it justice. There really needs to be a new word to describe the amount of townies here. Hood **** can be spotted on practically every street corner showing off how far their trackies can be shoved into their socks and jealously eyeing each others bling.

Fortunately, there seems to be a new hybrid evolving in the preston suburbs, and i can only hope that it spreads. This new breed of townie has obviously grown bored with mugging old ladies and trashing parks, and has found a new hobby – fighting amongst themselves.

***** fighting, or rather, making a lot of noise at each other while their loyal crew members shout “ees not worf it mate, ees not worf it”, is nothing new. But given the choice of terrorising a non-townie and fighting each other, a true spied will instantly turn on the ‘dirty mosher’. This hybrid doesn’t.

How grim is your Postcode?

I was out in preston on new years eve when a group of pissed hood **** rounded a corner in front of me. Fearing the worst, i crossed the road but the townies seemed more interested in attacking some other *****. I watched in awe as a full scale fight erupted between the two ‘krews’, leaving me untouched.

My only theory is, that left to their own devices, ***** will simply **** themselves up. I can only hope that this cheery good will spreads, as given enough time (and/or cheep alcohol), the different factions of ***** will just wipe each other out.

Top 50 worst places to live in England 2022 as voted for by you