Uh-oh, I would have disputed this a year ago, surely Rushden is filled with the same cheery old people on motability vehicles and family run fruit & veg shops as it always was? but no, not now….a stroll down the high street at 9pm reveals a **** ******** core to my dear old home town.
I was almost blinded by the whitemess of the tracksuits on the corner of college street, there was a community policeman keeping the peace, having a little laugh while some She-***** called to the males, presumably a mating cry “Oi, you’se lot, *** over ‘ere”.
There was a street light out on our road the other week, we noticed a gaggle of ***** (what is the collective noun for *****?) ******* out under it, but as soon as it was fixed, they scuttled back into their council flats to drink white lightning in safety while waiting for the next giro.
Something else has gone ****-side too.
What happened to the job centre? Oh it got a plus, “Job Centre Plus” – which actually means, it doesn’t have jobs any more.
On a recent day off work, I ventured in there to cruise the boards, looking for little hand written cards showing me what jobs were availiable a little closer to home but wait! what’s this? there are no jobs here.
I asked a lady who spoke to me using the kind of words I would use with my two year old, obviously she was not sure if I could understand anything more complicated.
I asked her “Excuse me, where are the jobs?” she told me I had to use an interactive TV screen or I could phone them…I said “but I’m already here, why would I go home and phone you?” she says “Oh we have phones you can use, you can phone from here…” – I say “hang on, I can phone you from here to ask you what? why there aren’t any jobs?” she says “Well, we don’t really do jobs anymore….” I say “So what do you do then?” she says “We provide help with benefits….”.
Can anyone else see what’s wrong with this picture? Answers on a postcard please, and don’t worry, you can use big words, I can cope.