Poole, Dorset

DorsetSouth West

OK. Hows this for irony. The council produce merchandise for the modest town of poole, slogan: ‘Poole, it’s a beautiful place’.

What the ****? It’s a growing ******** of a place which is solely down to the fact that it’s a magnetic haven for the dregs of our society – *****.

They are everywhere and no-one is safe! You can easliy be fooled though. During a pleasnat stroll along the famous quay front on a summers afternoon no-one could blame you for thinking that a refreshing beverage in the Oyster Quay bar would be anything short of exquisite. But seriuosly get that drink down you as soon as you can becasue come 7.00pm the flock of mutants will be queing at the door, dressed to the nines in burberry, hackett, reebok classics and a jewelery collection that B.A Barracus would be proud of. Throughout the evening the bungling morans will down their body weight in WKD and dive around with pretend glow sticks to the latest hits from DJ Sammy, nice.

This is all topped off with a visit to Chillies – Poole’s ‘hottest’ nightspot, hmmm. The only thing hot in this place is the knocked off Gold. And of course a ****’s night out on the tiles wouldn’t be complete without a good old fashioned scrap and a KFC, and thats just the female of the species.

How grim is your Postcode?

It really is a depressing state of affairs and something that desperately needs to be addressed. It’s at times like these I believe Hitler had the right idea. Mass extermination of these ******** should surely be considered?

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