Well after reading a review on a previous town that i lived in, i thought it was injustice for pontefract not to have a review on its utter chavness!
After living in pontefract for the last 5 months i have discovered that there is something different about this town, not only does it have its usuall ***** with there citroen saxos and corsa’s, and can someone please inform them that by putting wheels on their car that dont fit and ruin the performance of their car, not that they had any performance in the first place, that they still look like complete *******! Then to top it all of they think they look cool by playing dj sammy at a volume that would annoy the **** out of any humanbeing! Yeah they all have there fake burberry hats, sometimes for the slightly better off **** a real one, although those have probably spent the last week mugging old grannys or burgaling peoples houses. The majority of them have children although the few that don’t have the excuse that they are on so many steroids that they cant get an erection!
Well the ***** in pontefract are quite fortunate, they have there very own nightclub! Somewhere they can go, get out of there faces on stella fo 80p a bottle and then **** the **** out of each other because some normal bloke tried to come onto a bird callled keighley. Yep the nightclub Kikos is the place to be if you want to **** it up big stlyee. Alternatively you could visit kikos little brother and go to Bar 12, this time you get mullered on stella for 99p and get some 14 year old pregnant at pontefract castle! Or if your a 12 year old **** you can always go to the malt shovel for your evenings lashings of ale, then have a good laugh as you and your chavy mates puke up all over each other outside.
So ***** of Pontefract why not try something different for a day. Instead of getting girls pregnant, taking drugs, or robbing people, why not GET AN EDUCATION AND JOB, STOP CREATING A CUE IN THE POST OFFICE FOR YOUR GIRO’S, AND STOP ANNOYING THE **** OUT OF NORMAL PEOPLE!