Written by Anonymous Visitor and posted in Devon, South West, United Kingdom

Right this is my first entry so i make no appologies for any mistakes!
My questions are….1) what did I (or any other decent human) do to deserve an influx of chavs?!?!
2) why are they so god-damn stupid?!?!
You can hardly walk throught the town centre (famous for its concrete facade and utter shityness) without hearing “cont”, “fok”, “what yer lukin at?” and many other missuses of the queens english.
Recently the police had a cunning idea of issuing a dispersal order for the city centre but didnt tell the locals when it was to be inforced (late eveings and night time – to stop the drunk hordes migrating from Mutley’s pubs (after shutting time) down to Union Street for “drink, drugs, fights, burds and s**t”). Well anyway..the dispersal order has caused resident Goths (and others with good taste in music and dark senses of humour + intelligence which is what really sets them apart) to move their haunts a full 50 foot to outside Virgin Megastore. This place is in the centre of a narrow walkway between Cornwall Stret and New george street so Chavs can simply walk past, insutl and start fights with little effort! (anything requiring effort seems to put them off..) now they can stare and throw “witty” comments with just as much ease and interest as visting a zoo! hence the problem escalating. God save us….
Janner chavs arent the brightest people by a far far far thrown long shot. they steal and rob and fight etc in their own neighbourhoods! But what amazes me is the simple “hive-mind” of chavism. They are like burbery coloured sheep. it seems that the moment you fully become a chav (to which most young “sporty” twats hope to become) is only when you move to an area renowned for its poor society, levels of crime, ASBO’s, and danger. like Swilly, Stonehouse or anywhere to the West of Plymouth – coincedence..i think not, they are planning to invade Cornwall next, Saltash has already been attacked by the first of the “warbands”. but why move somewhere where any hope of a decent life is extingueshed upon arrival?!
Then they have the super cool names for their gangs (they do NOT live in ghettos or even hoods, but in areas so bad that the army seem like the only people who could make headway against the violent clans, i know the police have failed in every attempt so far) their gangs are called things like the “West-Hoe massive” (even has its own website for gods sake) and “E-unit”.
The gangs have no leader as the dominant position is held by the toughest lads and guys with the most arrests under his belt (not a sign of brains/success to me…but then they are sub human) thus are allways changing as the latest guy gets out of the “clink”. These lads are controlled by their girlfriends (normally many years younger and with many kids by many fathers). The gangs wage warfare and territorial disputes…but the fights always hapen in the city centre.
For instnce i live in an area called Mainstone near Estover and so my local gang is the E-Unit which quite often fight “turf wars” against Efford and Stoke who live miles apart and in the csae of Stoke is the other edge of the city! So the fights take place in Plymouth city centre and members are rounded up by the girls who go from bar to club spreading evil rumours and saying things like “eer matey yer live near us dunt ya, i’s sawd yer dis mornin, come fite cus efford is tryin it big time innit” (to which i reply “NO id rather be fighting you but your brains ahave ben replaced with muscle destroying my advantage”). Why do the fights happen so far from the “turf”, isnt it obvious…its because there are loads of “the old bill” (police) in town and so the leaders and others who fight the hardest can win distinction by having a swing at an officer and the geting arrested in front of the girls. However how this impresses them is beyond me because the lad doesnt get released for 4 hours so spoiling the chance of a quick shag and increasing the chance some other guy will get “nicked” to impress the same girl 5 minutes later (our police are…quick and tend to let them go because of the sheer numbers of people arrested and differeing statements duye to alcohol and drug abuse).
Burbery isnt big and it isnt clever or nice!! Nor is the rest of the s**t gear but who am i to complain… it is said my kind (normal humans) “dont understand” and are “taking the piss innit”.
Before i go, why do chavs find it necessary to excelerate betwen speed bumps?!?! even when they are 30 foot apart on a narrow winding one way street (such as the Hoe)? its soo stupid its beyond belief. It can only be beeten by seeing Chavs fit “neons” to 25cc scooters! and strap glowsticks all over anything bigger!
Well thats it. Plymouth suffers from a great plague of unwashed, sexualy diseased, theiving, ignorant, stupid, burbery sheep like morons who are know as CHAVS!
ooh quick brainwave…as they are so thick and sheep like, known for strength (so many fights breeds a warrior caste) and simple idioticy…they could be fashioned into the perfect private army! Stupidly loyal, cheap, and right wing to the core (except when some idiot liberal offers more welfare benifits for their 8 children, simply becasue the poor bastards each have differnt parents). Im off to create an army….