HampshireSouth East

Situated around 10 miles from the infamous p***y retreat known as Leigh Park, lies the small town of Petersfield. Not renowned for its C***s but should be given its notification.

The starting place for these “humans” is the town square. Three pubs and a couple of off-licenses provides the c***s with alcoholic beverages and food. The kebab van provides them with ample food; it also provides them with someone to abuse and threaten.

In the mist of things, normal pot-smoking and cocaine snorting is done in the churchyard, right next to the square. The burbery hats manage to cover up their faces, so the culprits are never caught.

Once the thugs have collected their alcohol, had a laugh at the kebab man and become stoned out of their heads, they flock towards the Kings Arms. The Kings Arms is a local youth club which has a couple of pool tables and sky TV. After the c***s have managed to break the pool tables and listening to a couple of ‘blazin’ tunes on MTV Base, they head back out to their next hotspot: The Heath.

In the depths of darkness, any woman walking her dog would be as quick as Kelly Holmes as she runs across the heath before bottles are lunged at her and abuse shouted about her “saggy tits”. Much of the play equipment is graffiti’d and after breaking many bottles and hurling some at ducks, they head towards the cricket pavillion and breaking a couple of windows there. A punch-up normally ensues; which results in a couple of police cars and ambulances being damaged.

The Brethren then normally head back into town to damage a couple of windows before their Mums come to pick them up for bedtime.

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