West MidlandsWorcestershire

I unfortunately was born and bred in Pershore. The reason it is so very c**v is that it neighbours king of all c**v towns – Evesham. In fact, half of the c***s (or ‘Kevs’) in Evesham have driven from Pershore in their ‘kev-ed up’ dream machines. Usually these are H – G reg escorts, novas, fiesta – occasionally peugeot 106s but the best by far is my friend’s silver bmw (E reg) with gold alloys and speakers worth more than the car. Nice.

You can spot a c**v house by the ‘England flag’ adornment level. 1 = c**v 2= dole s**m 3=bnp member etc.

Junior c***s without their drivers licence hang outside ‘leos’, the only supermarket, drinking alcopops and smoking L’n’bs with their prams and pushchairs in tow. Catchphrase ‘what the f**k u looking at?”. I recently walked past the gang ala pushchairs and overheard – “what the f**k is she doing in a suit, ain’t she from pershore?”

As Leos is the only hang out and there arent really any car parks that are empty in the evening the c***s of Pershore are fairly redundant. The only other hang outs are really Abbey Park and their local friendly pot/estacy dealers flat – recognisable by the loud pumping of happy hardcore.

Top 10 worst places to live in England 2019