Written by Anonymous Visitor and posted in East Anglia

Small backwater village slung into 20th century by massive building project. Offspring of old villagers protect their heritage by turning to chavdom and claiming the Seats Outside the Nisa as their territory.

Chavs love hangin’ outside the village store – man, what better place to show off your latest festering acne attack and exchange views on the meaning of life – is there one for these losers? This new “village centre” was supposed to bring some sort of community spirit to the split village (incomers versus bog life) so, the powers that be decided to invest in some public seating – just right for local pram faces and skanky lankies to sit and chew the fat. Career prospects for Papworth chavs are endless – cleaning at the local hospital, cleaning at the local hospital and cleaning at the local hospital. Higher aspirations are to “have a kid” – all incestuously spawned by fumbles with potato faced rat boys on the village park. The less physically challenged chavettes model the uniform arse-belt skirts…well, let’s be honest…even the lardier ones love to show off their cellulite and stretch marks (3 kids at 16, so what’s wrong with that. It’s me income innit)…with dodgy trainers (trainer socks optional) and sleeping bag style anoraks. The strong fragrance of morning fry-ups, fags and unwashed hair lingers nicely around the magazine racks…esp. near Heat/Closer/Sneak selections.
Ambition? Get a life!