Oldham Oldham Oldham… home of the free, or at least of the cheap… home to one of the largest tribes of a rising race, the chav, loitering in the alleys near mecca bingo, or, if you dare travel into my hometown of shaw, the ginnel behind southern fried chicken, throwing 10p’s at a wall, no doubt taking after their father who blew all his money getting ripped off by petty gambling as well, we even have chavs in the teaching proffession in oldham, teaching the new generations how to tell a fake ring from a real one, then helping them decide which fake one to get, one of the most prominent examples of this a certain PE teacher at royton and crompton school, we also have the chav-tastic spindels shopping centre, tommyfield market, where you can buy real “abidas” trainers for an amazing 80 quid, wow!!
If you don’t know Oldham, it is exactlly how it is spelt….OLD HAM.Stinks that way too. Curry mostly.
If you drive there you’ll know when you arrive by the speeding asylum seekers in their un-registered cars cutting you up hoping for a bump so they can claim their whip-lash cash. Don’t go abroad for your hols, visit the Spindles Shopping Centre instead and meet anyone from any country you care to name hanging about in groups on the balconies in leather jackets and smoking L & B’s.
This really is a cultural centre where Chavs can meet their counterparts from foreign lands. Even though they don’t speak the same lingo they recognise each other instantly! Kids pushing kids in trollies is the norm.Burberriy caps in abundance.
Gerald Ratner must have started his empire off here too, enough 9 carat ‘gold’? on grubby nicotine stained fingers to build a battleship.Once finished shopping (window shopping that is) then how about a visit to the Tommyfield Pub to see what proper bargains one can obtain? A quick visit to Greggs for lunch then toddle off home through the eternal rain whilst endevouring to dodge the beggars and keep the pie dry and another end to a lovely day out. There is only one road in OLD HAM, the A62, which leads OUT to Manchester. Raat neece ta’ si thi. as they say.
p.s. buying property? cheapest in UK ,wonder why??
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I’d like to nominate yet another town in the north west as the chaviest place on the planet. It seems that out of all the disgusting places in the north west (and boy are there plenty about!), Oldham takes the biscuit. It’s such a unique place that it actually has its own timezone to the rest of the UK…………1889. I happened to visit this dump during a school holiday not so long ago (a giant mistake I know!), and felt so intimidated that I almost immediately got back on the train!
The kids seem to like hanging around Woolworth’s (or Wool-ehs as its more commonly known), which is a shame, as due to inflation they can no longer afford a bag of pick ‘n’ mix, and instead have to make do with Marlboro menthols.
People, when they visit Oldham, remark that the race riots of the Millenium have ruined the town. What they don’t actually realise is that it was a wreck before they decided to turn on their own neighbours. You can tell how bad a town is when you have to name your main train station after an illness – Oldham Mumps!