The area of Oldbury stretches over a wide area, with a lot of the area taken up by industrial warehouses and factories, and the rest taken up by the ****** population. ***** here are a common sight. In fact, if you played spot the **** your brain would go into overload with the infinite amount.

Of course, it’s not hard to spot them. Enough hair gel to put a Gel business into the money, the plate sized sovereigns wedged on their fingers, the fake burberry caps which now come in a variety of colours such as pink and green, the tight trousers which look as if they’re cutting off the blood circulation, the JJB identical tracksuits…it’s rare that their image strays from these items.

The Smethwick end of Oldbury consists of 2 parks and a lot of posh houses. As the ***** can’t afford to live in these houses, they swarm to Lightwoods Park in particular and make nuisances of themselves by sitting on the half pipes, hurling abuse at the skaters and clutching their Superkings **** and bottles of White Lightening. Just a typical day out for them really. If they get bored of that they swagger down to Bearwood highstreet looking as if they all have limps, and browse the shops to see if there is anything worth nicking.

How grim is your Postcode?

The McDonalds on the corner of the Wolverhampton Road is providing an excellent place for *****. Not only can they hang out there and try and intimidate little children, there is an ambulance permanently stationed there so they can get patched up after getting into a fight. But of course the other upside is the food. It’s cheap and fast food -ultimate **** food. It would be like heaven to them, especially as they’ve probably all dropped out of school at about the age of 14 or failed their GCSE’s, so it provides a perfect job for them at £3.10 an hour. This is why you should avoid McDonalds there, as most of the time you recognise at least 2 people working there and you don’t wish to have your burger spat on.

Moving down to “The Hollybush” area of shops. The off license there is fairly strict on ID so it’s not unusual for mini ***** to ask random strangers to go buy them a bottle of Lambrini. The shops there provide a selection of food for them, a KFC, Domino’s pizza, 2 Indian Cuisines, 2 Chinese Cuisines and a Newsagents. Well, how else do you expect a **** to eat?

Brandhall Golf Course is also the next up and coming **** ground. Here ***** like to steal golf balls and then consequently throw them through people’s windows. Burnt out cars are becoming more regularly left here, usually after ***** have driven round in them for a while with the windows down, shouting what they consider to be clever comments.

It’s a charming place.

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