The best way to observe the North Walsham C***s is to travel to North Walsham on the train from Norwich. You will be able to mingle with them as they will be returning from Norwich with their bags of dire sportswear from ‘Soccer World’, the female C**v will have a ‘Jane Norman’ bag and they will be surrounded by prams with ugly babies with earings. They silently emit farts perfumed with the putrid stench of Happy Meals. They will be talking in a bizarre ancient language known as ‘Norfolk’ the laziest dialect in the World.
North Walsham is a market town 15 miles North East of Norwich. If, like me, you have left North Walsham and only return at Christmas, you will find that all your old school mates have succumbed to being C***s. They will say stuff like ‘So where do you live then?’ When you say ‘I live in London now.’ They will defensively reply ‘Well thas’ alroight for yew!’ As if they are unable to leave the f*****g dump, which of course they can’t do as they have ugly C**v families and various babies and Tracey enjoys her shift in the Black Swan.
So, where were we? Ah yes, North Walsham train station is C**v heaven, they might be going to Cromer from there. They will all be smoking as they panic about having to spend 15 minutes on a train without cancer sticks. ‘Where did yew get your mewbile unlocked Kevun?’ They will say.
Everywhere you look in North Walsham you will see odd limping people and simpletons. Many of these are also C***s, simpleton C***s.
Want to watch North Walsham C***s dance? Go to the Black Swan function room on a friday night which is truly awful. In the White Swan C***s put on terrible dance nights. Bluebird Taxi’s ferry C***s to Mundesley Royal for a C**v disco.
They don’t work and have never been into a Subway, if they did they’d ask how big a foot long BLT is.
Obviously car parks are their meeting place, the library car park is favourite and of course the North Walsham ‘Gazebo’ the Market Cross. They live in the China Town Ghetto off Aysham Road and the Brick Kiln area, actually they live everywhere but Happisburgh Road, most of Cromer Road and Yarmouth Road.
Thursday is Market Day in North Walsham, a good day for them to combine this with being a Thursday morning dole signer. The Market offers a good range of C**v goods.
Nobody, absolutely nobody from North Walsham has achieved fame, the High School is appalling and may as well offer a City and Guilds in being a C**v.