Newry – South Armagh/Down S**m Magnet

Northern Ireland
Newry…Located halfway between Dublin and Belfast is the central hive to two particular types of c**v s**m…the Skeet, a common street urchin and the Culchie, a wannabe GAA (Gaelic Athletic Accociation) s**t head who’s idea of a pimped ride is their fathers Ferguson Tractor.

Being nessled in so called Bandit Country both particular types of speices thrive of their alleged links with the IRA or Provos, none or which are remotly true. Oddly enough they are anti drugs i.e. Hash, any one deemed smoking this is a hippy.

Dress sense is rather similar to that of regular c***s; Skeets can be regularly seen acquiring their attire in Louis Boyds, (general Ben Sherman etc) and Newry Market.

Coming of age when being a skeet in Newry begins with carry outs in various spots in the town (Buckfast and Cider ie Ding)  but general pub going starts at around 12 in Squires. One would move up the ladder and go to O Dowds where a chance at getting in to the ajoining club The Relic would be attemped.

Futher afield theres the underage club NV (once known as Caesars) is where the sexual misadventures begin. Over the road is the barn which is a f*****g excuse for a club, Laceys. and Barn it is with a farmyards worth of animals and happy hardcore. If interested Google Country Clubland fr the worst in techno remixes of Dolly Parton songs (yes people are in to this)

Worst of all is the common names that non spides are given such as the usuall Gay or Hippie but more suprisingly is “Slayer” used in the context you are a Slayer. 

So if youre vising our proud little town these are places NOT to go….

The Quays on Friday Nights 
The Relic 
Bank (for Posers)
Swimming Pool
in fact just bypass Newry altogether ..go to Warrenpoint..way nicer.

Ill add more some time



P.S. I got out of here and live in the city!     

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